Life in the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee
by Xanthos Samurai
Summary: KH2 fic. This fic shows daily life for the members of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee and the hijinks that occur while trying to fix up their world. Spoilers for all KH games. CloudXLeon and more pairings to come. [Yaoi, language]
1. Fuckable Slips

**A Day in the Life of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee**

Author: Xanthos Samurai

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Some language and from Cid because, well, he's Cid. So far, some mild slash/yaoi references (Cloud/Leon) and there will be more pairings to come as the story develops. There will be spoilers for KH1, CoM and KHII in later chapters. You're warned!

Disclaimer: Everyone here belongs to Square-Enix and Disney and I'm not making any money.

Feedback: Yes, please!

Notes: I loved the idea of all of the Hollow Bastion crew crashing at Merlin's while they're trying to put Hollow Bastion back together and just knew that there was a lot of opportunity for some fun fanfiction to be written in that situation. Naturally, this is set during Kingdom Hearts II and I will be making references to all three Kingdom Hearts games, so you're probably better off waiting until you've beaten Kingdom Hearts and Chain of Memories and at least gotten part of the way through Kingdom Hearts II before reading this. Other than that, this is supposed to be kind of a peek into what I think it would be like if Yuffie, Aerith, Leon, Cid, Merlin and a few other random people really were all living there and what they do while Sora is off saving worlds and fighting Organization XIII. Have fun and happy reading!

* * *

Naturally, the routine began with Merlin. The headquarters were _still_ situated at his house, despite Aerith's many assurances that they were in fact looking for a new location every day. The old wizard had some serious doubts that they were looking _too_ hard, though. After all, why would they want to move into a place where they would have to pay rent and utilities and clean up and take care of all the fiddly little details that come with owning any kind of residence of their own? Why would they want to put up with all that when Merlin would do it for them? So it came as no surprise that the housing market in Hollow Bastion was surprisingly slow, according to their claims.

So the routine began with Merlin. He would wake up early and magic himself a strong cup of herbal tea with a shot of brandy (for flavor) and stretch his old bones and look around. The room was still dark and full of young people sleeping. Yuffie and Aerith were usually curled up in sleeping bags on the floor and Cid sawed logs while sprawled in his computer chair. Leon only slept at Merlin's about half the time – the other half he spent up at the castle itself. He muttered that it was so he could fend off any Heartless that decided to attack in the middle of the night, but everyone knew that it was just because he didn't like spending that much time around other people. And because Cid snored like Donald with a head cold. Sometimes Tifa joined them for the night as well, but she was still working on opening up her bar and usually slept there. _She_ didn't mind doing her own dirty work, Merlin noted with a sense of wry amusement. God only knew where Cloud stayed his nights because none of them had ever seen him sleep.

_Anyways_, the routine began with Merlin. After waking up, he would tiptoe around the sleeping bodies and put the coffee pot on for everyone so that he wouldn't have to deal with four extremely cranky young people for too long before they got the caffeine in their systems. While the coffee was brewing, Merlin would walk over to the computer and turn it on and perhaps chat with Tron for a few minutes before the others woke up. Merlin was actually quite knowledgeable about computers and only acted ignorant to antagonize Cid, something he did at every opportunity.

"He acts like he's thirty-two going on seventy-five," Merlin chuckled to himself as he pushed Cid's arm off the keyboard. "If he wants to pull off the grouchy old curmudgeon act, he needs to wait until he _really_ has something to complain about. Like false teeth. Or grandchildren who don't call enough."

Aerith woke up next, greeted Merlin sleepily and downed a cup of black coffee before going to take a shower. Despite her more-adorable-than-thou appearance and her predilection for pink, Aerith was no pushover. She could drink Leon under the table (then again, Leon couldn't have more than two beers before he got to the "giggling at everything like a little girl" phase) and give Cid a run for his money as well as play a mean game of strip poker. She also wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty and would pull her weight when fixing up the castle just like the rest of them. Merlin once asked her why she seemed to go out of her way to give the impression that she was such a helpless simpleton, but she simply smiled and replied, "Not everyone has to carry around a sword that's proportional to the size of their ego to have faith in their abilities. Besides, it usually always helps to be underestimated." Merlin had had a long laugh after hearing that and had to agree with her that Cloud and Leon seemed to invest a bit too much time making sure that everyone knew exactly how big and impressive their swords were.

If he were there that night, Leon would be up next and would promptly consume two or three heavily creamed mugs of coffee before even uttering a syllable. He enjoyed reading the newspaper with Merlin before Yuffie and Cid got up and tore it apart looking for the funnies and the sports sections, respectively. Merlin rather enjoyed Leon's company and would chat with him about current events (it was always a one-sided conversation, though Leon would nod intermittently as Merlin chattered) as Aerith came back in from the bathroom, her hair still damp and began making breakfast. The smell of eggs and bacon and pancakes would subsequently rouse Cid, whose snoring would be punctuated with long sniffs until he finally woke up with a snort and immediately cursed at falling asleep at the computer. The pilot would eye the computer suspiciously and mutter that "I musta forgot t' shut it down again last night. Or maybe this thing's just possessed 'n turns on by itself. Ain't right either way havin' a computer that can talk to ya. Dunno why Anesem'd make such a thing." Then he would straighten up with a grunt, feeling his back pop about six times and look at the rest of them. "Aerith, when's breakfast gonna be ready? I'm starvin'!"

Yuffie, being the youngest and the most disposed to sleep outrageous amounts, was the last to wake up. Despite being a self-proclaimed ninja with "lightening reflexes," Yuffie had been known to sleep through everything short of Ansem himself walking through the door. Curled up in her sleeping bag, she would sleep like a rock until someone, usually Cid, would take it upon themselves to rouse her.

"Geddup, ya damn lazybones. We ain't got room in this organization for no good-for-nothin' ninjas." Cid would growl at her as he prodded her ribs with a booted foot.

"Nnnn…" Yuffie's one arm would emerge from the depths of the sleeping bag, reaching for her shuriken in her sleep. The others had learned through painful experience to move it out of her reach prior to attempting to wake Yuffie up. Even in her sleep, she had a good arm and had more than once sent Cid howling across the room, clutching his foot as blood spurted from it. Naturally, Yuffie was completely asleep as she skewered Cid's foot and whole ordeal that followed and had to be told about it later, much to her surprise. It had nearly killed her not to giggle in front of Cid and learned that even smiling in his presence for about a week after the event would be met with dire consequences.

"Up, Muffin!" Cid would finally say. "Last chance or I'm eatin' yer breakfast."

"M'name's not Muffin… 's Yuffie." She would mutter sleepily as she finally crawled out of bed. "Aeriiiiiiiiiiiith… don't let him eat my breakfast while I shower, kay?"

"Of course not. But hurry up, it's almost done." Aerith didn't even turn around most days. Cid and Yuffie enjoyed baiting one another and got so much amusement out of it that it would be mean to stop them. Cid called Yuffie "Muffin" and she would flush his cigarettes down the toilet and he'd file the points of her shuriken down and so on and so forth. Cloud, Leon, Tifa, Aerith and Merlin had a running bet going as to who would finally top the other. Most bets were on Yuffie, but Cloud firmly believed that one day, Yuffie was going to do something that would cause Cid to hang her upside-down by her toes above Rising Falls.

All of the usual goings-on had already happened this morning and Yuffie had just emerged from the shower, now as full of energy as a rechargeable battery. As she joined the others at the breakfast table, she found that they were already in the midst of a discussion.

"Tifa said that she would help us with the south entrance today if some of us could help her with the roof of her bar tomorrow. Considering what a mess the south entrance is, we're going to need all the help we can get." Leon said.

"Why do we gotta do the south entrance today? That's gonna be the hardest one, what with the area bein' _covered_ in Heartless, as if Risin' Falls isn't enough of a pain in the ass to deal with in the first place." Cid chewed on a cigarette, clearly agitated by the news. "I hate Risin' Falls."

"You wouldn't hate it so much if you weren't so picky about getting wet." Remarked Merlin as he got up and went to get himself another piece of toast. "Honestly, it's ridiculous to see a grown man grouch about it like you do."

"Siddown and drink yer goddamn tea!" Cid roared at the wizard, pissed off that he could feel himself blushing. Yuffie, who hadn't been aware of Cid's aversion to water prior to this, was already thinking of a million ways to rig a water balloon canon where he would walk into it.

"Enough. Cid, you're going to have to deal with it and we're going to need Tifa and Cloud as well. Has anyone seen him lately?" Leon looked around at the rest of the crew. None of them said anything.

"Typical." Leon rolled his eyes. "I'll look for Cloud. Aeris, you go tell Tifa about the plan and Yuffie and Cid go down there and start working on clearing some of the mess up. Everyone got it?"

"You only want to go find Cloud yourself so you can go make out with him!" Yuffie proclaimed.

The rest of them looked at her. Leon's eyes were icy and anyone with an iota more common sense than Yuffie would have just stopped there. Then again, common sense had never been Yuffie's strong point.

"It's completely true," she said. "You totally wanna make out with him."

"…I'm going to go to Tifa's." Aerith wiped her mouth with her napkin and stood up. "I'm sorry, Merlin, but would you mind doing the dishes? We need to get an early start."

"Not at all, my dear. Go ahead." Merlin turned away as well, supposedly busying himself with dishes. In fact, he was trying his best not to laugh at Yuffie's bluntness. Everyone knew that Cloud and Leon hopelessly crushed on one another, but both of them were much too stoic and manly to admit it.

"Let's go, Muffin." Cid lifted Yuffie bodily out of her seat, despite her surprised struggles. "If we have to go to that goddamned place, I want to go and get it over with."

"Hey, wait a minute! I'm not ready yet!" Yuffie protested.

Leon's blue eyes followed Yuffie as Cid essentially dragged her out, but he didn't move until it was just him and Merlin. He finally stood up and grabbed his coat and gunblade.

"I do _not_ have a crush on Cloud." He told Merlin.

"Of course not. Now get going so you can find him."

"…" Leon glowered at the wizard's back before he walked out. "I do _not_ have a crush."

Other than possibly Tifa, Leon was the best of the group at figuring out what went on in Cloud's head. He could usually find the spiky-headed blonde if he wanted to. Leon couldn't always understand Cloud, of course, but after having known him for so long, he could usually tell when Cloud needed to be left alone and when he just needed a good ass-kicking.

This time, Leon guessed correctly that Cloud was at the Postern, one of his favorite places. As Leon walked up, he saw Cloud sitting on the low wall that surrounded the round area, staring out into the distance. His sword was leaning against the wall beside him and his one wing, which he rarely wore out in the open anymore, was exposed. The wing had been acquired as part of the deal that Cloud had made with Hades, but after the events that followed, Cloud had begun to see it as a sign of the darkness within himself and kept it hidden. It didn't make any difference to Leon what Cloud did with his wing, though he wasn't surprised that Cloud took the opportunity to "stretch" when nobody was looking.

"Cloud." Leon called his friends name as he approached. Startled, Cloud turned around and folded his wing up against his back. Leon shook his head and walked over to the wall where Cloud sat. "Don't bother, I've already seen. Not that it matters."

"Yeah, well… Nobody _really_ wants to see that side of me." Cloud answered, relaxing a bit. He didn't mind so much if Leon saw, but it was a bit more awkward around people like Aerith and Tifa. "What are you doing all the way over here?"

"We need your help today, unless you're too busy learning how to use that thing." Leon nodded at Cloud's sword. "I know how badly you need the practice."

"Ha, you wish. I bet you couldn't even lift it," retorted Cloud.

"Whatever. If you had my sword, you wouldn't be able to hit anything with it. Not even if you threw it at a Large Body."

"So what? At least I could get it up off the ground."

Leon smirked. "I could get your sword up if I wanted to."

The second after the words left his lips, he realized quite how… _gay_ it sounded. Cloud seemed to notice as well and coughed once.

"Well, uh… You needed help, huh? Sorry, but I'm not interested in helping unless there's something in it for me. I'm not a 'good guy' like the rest of you."

"Fine. You're invited to dinner with us tonight and to the poker game on Thursday, then."

Cloud raised a brow. "I have an open invitation from Merlin and Aerith to show up whenever I want, thanks, and Tifa's already invited me to the poker game. Try again."

"I'll keep Yuffie out of the liquor if you come."

"Done." Cloud shuddered at the memory of the last poker game he had attended, when Yuffie had accidentally gotten into Cid's "private stash." None of them would forget that night anytime soon. The wing vanished into his shirt as he stood and he took his sword in hand. "Let's go then. Where to?"

"Rising Falls. Cid and Yuffie should already be there and Aerith is getting Tifa. We have a lot of work to do around the southern entrance."

"Are you out of your mind? There are more Heartless there than anywhere else put together. We'll be killing them for a month before we even start on the construction part." Cloud looked at Leon with a skeptic expression. "Why are you so nuts about getting that cleared out all the sudden?"

"It's the part of the castle with the most technology. If we can fix it up first, cleaning up and rebuilding the rest of the castle will be a lot easier. Besides, that's also the area where the library and a lot of the bedrooms are. I want to make sure the Heartless don't get in there and wreck anything."

"The library I understand, but why the bedrooms?" Cloud swung his sword to rest on his shoulder as he began walking down to the Bailey with Leon.

"I'm really sick of sleeping outside and I think Merlin's about to kill us. Besides, nobody pays rent on the castle, it's all powered by magic and I'm fairly sure that Ansem isn't going to just suddenly stroll in and want his castle back. I'm pretty sure it's up for grabs."

"Oh yeah, it'll be great once we cleanse it of all the darkness and, you know, get rid of the portal to evil that he unlocked in the basement." Cloud snickered. "Sounds like a great do-it-yourself weekend project."

"Now you have the right idea. I'd tell you to wear a hard hat, but I'm pretty sure that your hair will effectively take care of any falling debris before it hurts anything vital."

"Ha ha. Watch your back, Leon."

Leon smirked. "What, you think you can take me from behind, Strife?"

Once again, why did that inadvertently come out so _gay_! Leon wanted to beat his head against the wall, but Cloud didn't seem to notice. He was still talking trash and walking along the Bailey with Leon. The brunette shook his head. If Cloud didn't notice, then there wasn't any harm in those occasional Fuckable slips. Freudian slips. Freudian. He smacked his forehead with his palm,

_Dammit, I have **got** to stop doing that!_

Leon hoped that the rest of the day would be a success.

_To Be Continued...

* * *

_

Notes: Leon's faux pas are so fun to write. Well, hopefully someone found this amusing. I know that Cloud isn't exactly in his Kingdom Hearts characterization, but I like the way he's characterized better in Final Fantasy VII, so I wrote him a bit more in that style here. More of a sense of humor and not quite so stoic. Anywho, I hope you guys enjoyed and there will definitely be more chapters forthcoming!


	2. Sexy Thoughts

**A Day in the Life of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee**

Author: Xanthos Samurai

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Slash/yaoi in the form of Cloud/Leon and some future slash pairings as well. Also for the dirty mind of the author, the dirty mouth of Cid and for Leon's Fuckable, I mean Freudian slips around Cloud.

Disclaimer: Everyone here belongs to Square-Enix and Disney. Despite my illusions of grandeur and aspirations, I am in fact neither. However, if you would like to make a donation to the "Keep Xan Fed So She Can Write Smut" Foundation, please just drop me a line!

Feedback: I like feedback like Ansem likes ice cream.

Notes: The reviews I got for chapter one of this fic made me so happy. All of them were clear, thought-out, well written responses and I really can't say how much I appreciate it, especially here on It makes such a difference to get reviews that people actually put thought into in response to a piece of writing that took time and care to make decent. I guess I just wanted to thank everyone for being awesome. Responses like that is what makes fanfiction writing such a rewarding experience! On a related note, that flame for chapter 1 was written by a friend of mine being stupid. I have strange friends. :sweatdrop:

Reviewer-squee aside, this chapter was a lot of fun. It's quite a bit longer than the first one (like twice as long! How did that happen!) but a lot of fun stuff happens, so I think y'all will like it. Please let me know if you think it's too long though... I know that a lot of fic in one chapter can be kind of intimidating. And yes, Leon makes more faux pas. It's one of my favorite parts of the story! I have another few chapters planned out, so no worries about this story ending any time soon! I'm having too much fun! In any case, happy reading!

* * *

The majority of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee were already at Rising Falls when Cloud and Leon arrived on the scene at the top of the falls. And indeed it was a scene. They could tell from about a hundred paces away that Cid was already soaked and looked like about as happy about it as a cat that had been assaulted with a fire hose. However, this didn't detract from the peculiar glaze in Cid's usually sharp blue eyes that the two swordsmen noticed as they drew closer.

"Don't tell me Yuffie found a way to push you in already," said Leon. Cloud just grinned at Cid, mirth dancing in his eyes.

"Naw. I fell in." Cid muttered under his breath. "But it's about time you two showed up. I was beginning to wonder if Muffin was right."

"Right about what?" Cloud asked.

"Nothing. She was just being obnoxious again." Leon cut in quickly before Cid got the chance to explain the real reason. "Where are the girls, Cid? Aren't they here yet?"

The glaze in Cid's eyes got a bit… glazier and he jerked a calloused thumb in the direction of the bottom of the falls.

"They're down there. Check it out."

Their curiosity piqued by Cid's odd behavior, Cloud and Leon leaned over the edge and looked down and nearly simultaneously fell over the edge of the reverse fall.

It was a perfectly natural reaction in response to seeing Yuffie, Tifa and Aerith all dressed in swimsuits and working on clearing out the wreckage at the bottom of the falls. Tifa, wearing a black bikini top, a pair of short denim cut-offs and her customary gloves was using her fists to break apart the larger pieces of stone into smaller pieces so that Aerith and Yuffie could carry them over to the lowered bucket of the crane that Cid was supposed to be manning. Aerith in her pink bikini top and matching sarong was laughing at something Yuffie had said as they dumped the rubble in the crane's bucket. Even Yuffie looked suddenly and unexpectedly attractive in her green halter and board shorts. It was quite a sight to behold.

"Well, you didn't say anything about this," Cloud turned to Leon. "I would have tried to get here quicker if I had known that we were planning on having a bikini party down here."

"This is news to me too," Leon replied. "That's hardly the official uniform of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee, you know."

"I'm thinkin' maybe we can change that." Cid said.

"No joke." Cloud's eyes were still glued to the bottom of the falls. "Wait, isn't this place supposed to be swarming with Heartless?"

"It's _s'posed_ to be. But uh… not today, apparently." Cid took a cigarette out of his pocket and stuck it between his damp lips. "I have a feelin' we ain't gonna be seein' our little shadowy friends today though."

"Why's that?" Leon looked at him.

"Heartless may not have hearts, but they sure as hell got eyes. Would you wanna attack if you could watch _that_ all day instead?" Cid nodded down at the bottom of the falls.

"…That's either the most disturbing or the most inspired thing I've ever heard." Cloud said after thinking it over for several minutes. "Either way, it's less work for us"

"Are you three going to dick around up there all day or are you going to be men and come help us!"

Cid, Leon and Cloud suddenly realized that the three girls whom they had been gawking had noticed their presence and were standing at the bottom of the falls looking up at them.

"We're not dicking around!" Leon called down to them. The words had no sooner left his mouth than he felt like pointing his gunblade to his foot and pulling the trigger. _Gay,_ he thought._ Gay gay gay. I don't think it's **possible** to sound more gay. I'm going to find out what's making me do this and destroy it if it's the last thing I do._

"Keep thinkin' that, hon." Tifa smirked up at the two of them and Aerith and Yuffie giggled behind her.

Cloud, meanwhile, was just looking at Leon with an expression that said something along the lines of "Are you going to stand there all day looking like a constipated Moogle or are you going to grow some balls and act like a man?" It was quite possible that Leon's sense of inner embarrassment was making him hallucinate the constipated Moogle bit, but damned if it wasn't what he was feeling.

Leon glowered down at the three females and looked over at Cid.

"Can you lower the crane so that we can get down?"

"C'mon Leon, we don't need the crane." Cloud looked at Leon out of the corner of his eye, a challenge glinting there. "Or are you not up for it?"

"I'm up for anything you are, Strife." Leon met Cloud's gaze, answering the challenge. "You know that I'll always end up getting the best of you."

"Don't be so cocky. You haven't been acting yourself all day. Maybe it's affecting your game." Cloud shrugged dismissively and with that, jumped off the edge of the falls. Expertly swinging his sword in mid-air, the one-time mercenary thrust the blade into the water so that the upward pushing force of the falls would slow his descent enough to give him a smooth landing. Leon watched after him and shook his head once. Such a show off.

"And he calls me cocky."

Leon jumped down after Cloud and made it to the bottom of the falls a few moments after he did. The girls were watching, looking mildly impressed by Cloud and Leon's flashy entrances.

"So you two finally decided to show up and give us delicate little dewdrops a hand?" Tifa grinned at Cloud.

"We would have been here sooner if Leon had told me that it was going to be a bikini party down here." Cloud eyed Tifa. "Besides, you guys seem to have the position _filled_. Ow!"

Tifa crossed her arms over her chest mock-sternly as she gave Cloud a severe look. He rubbed his shoulder where she'd hit it. It was a big deal getting smacked by a girl who routinely shattered stone with her fists.

"Next time I won't go easy on you. Now c'mon and let's get this place cleared out before the Heartless show up."

"I don't think we need to worry about that," Leon remarked under his breath. It was an abnormally hot day, especially for the usually cool climate of Hollow Bastion. The sun pounded down on them as if it felt it needed to make up for being absent when Hollow Bastion had been under the control of Maleficent and her Heartless.

"What did you say?" Aerith looked at him curiously.

"Nothing. It's a warm day." Leon took off his jacket and laid it aside. The fact of the matter was that it was just too warm to be doing this kind of work in a shirt and a leather-and-fur jacket, no matter how cool it made him look.

"Duh! Why do you think we're wearing swimsuits?" Yuffie looked cheerful as she walked by carrying an armful of rubble over to the crane bucket. "It's too hot for anything else!"

Leon considered this for a moment. It _was_ hot and if the girls could get away with running around half-naked, why couldn't he? His white shirt joined his jacket on the ground seconds later and he stretched, feeling oddly lightened. Not wearing two layers of clothing certainly made a difference.

"Whooo! Take it off, Leon!" Yuffie grinned at him as she returned for another load. Leon's mouth quirked, but he absolutely refused to smile, not even when Tifa wolf-whistled at him.

"You have a nice body under there, Leon. Why don't you show it off a little more, hm?" Tifa tossed her long black hair as she grinned at him. "The rest of us would certainly appreciate it."

"Ha. I bet." He picked up his gunblade and walked over to the remains of a stone column that Tifa had been demolishing. "I'll take over here."

"All yours." Tifa went to help Yuffie carry rubble to the crane.

Leon was preparing to hack the rest of the column apart with his sword when Aerith approached him. He always considered Aerith a friend, but now all the sudden is was painfully obvious that there was a hell of a body under that pink dress that he'd never bothered to notice before. It was more of an observation than a life-changing revelation since he didn't have any interest in Aerith beyond friendship, but these types of things were good to have on file for future reference.

"Tifa's right. You should show off a little more." Aerith smiled at him. "Though next time you should definitely do a striptease."

At that, Leon tripped and would have plowed his face into the stone if he hadn't caught himself just in time. _Striptease_! Had Aerith just said _striptease_! He wouldn't even have thought she knew what a striptease _was_!

"I am not giving anyone a striptease." Leon told her flatly after he had recovered from his momentary heart failure. "Absolutely not."

She sighed girlishly. "Oh well… But in any case, if you're going to be out here shirtless, you should put on some sunscreen so you don't get burned. It's probably going to be like this all day."

Leon glanced up at the sun, then shook his head.

"No, I'll be fine. I can't remember the last time I got sunburned."

Aerith didn't look convinced. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it. I just want to get this done." Leon waved her off. Aerith looked at him for a moment and then shrugged before going off to help Yuffie and Tifa.

The now-shirtless Leon was just about to start actually working when he felt eyes watching him and looked around for the source. It ended up being none other than Cloud Strife with his arms folded across his chest and wearing a skeptical expression.

"You came down here just to get your shirt off, didn't you?"

The utter ridiculousness of the idea made Leon snort inwardly. He'd always known Cloud to have something of a competitive streak (understatement of the century) but this was ludicrous.

"Yes, Strife. That's it. I formed the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee just so I could have an excuse to run around Rising Falls without a shirt on. What am I going to do now that you've discovered my dastardly plan?" Leon's voice could not possibly have been more sarcastic. Cloud, however, just eyed Leon as if he was weighing the truth in his words.

"I wouldn't put it past you, pretty boy."

At that, Leon straightened up and looked Cloud in the eye. There was joking and there was dicking around and those were fine, but it was an unwritten Law of Manhood that you just didn't go around calling other men pretty. Besides, homoerotic undertones was the absolute _last_ thing that Leon wanted to deal with after all the little 'slips' that he'd been making all day.

"If you're so jealous, why don't you just take your shirt off too?"

Cloud smirked. "Psh. You want me to take my shirt off, don't you?"

"Of course I want you to take off your shirt!"

In the 0.02 seconds it had taken Leon to say the words, one million and one ways to impair his body so that he would never _ever_ be capable of uttering such a queer sentence again flew through his mind in rapid succession. The one involving shaving Yuffie's head in her sleep seemed to be the best option so far – the mutilation and subsequent death would at least be quick. Or if he wanted to isolate himself and live a quiet life in solitude, meditation and mental cleansing as opposed to ending his life entirely there was always just going and holing up in the caves in Traverse Town again…

Leon's contemplations of suicide by Yuffie were broken by Cloud's shirt hitting him square in the face. He caught it as it began to slid down and could only blink at the sight of Cloud standing shirtless in front of him. The blonde's arms were still folded across his chest, but this time he wore a smirk.

"Two can play at this game. If you're going to run around shirtless getting all the attention, so I can I."

Try as he might, Leon couldn't do anything but stare for a few seconds. When his mental functions returned, he threw the shirt back at Cloud and tried his best to look in control of himself and nonplussed. You know… manly.

"You're such a show-off, Strife. Give it a rest."

Cloud tossed his shirt down onto the ground, eying Leon with serious blue eyes.

"Never as long as you're around."

With that, the blonde turned and walked off and left Leon wondering how in _God's_ name he had managed to get himself into a situation where Cloud believed that he _wanted_ him to take his shirt off for any reason. It was so… wrong. Wrong, wrong and wrong.

_With any luck, I can just…hope that the rest of the day blows over uneventfully. Maybe I'm just making too big a deal over this and he isn't giving it a sexy thought. Second thought. Oh, God **dammit**_.

Leon began to wonder how much a Gummi Ship ride back to Traverse Town would cost him.

* * *

Towards the middle of the day, the three girls decided to take a break from work and eat the picnic lunches that Aerith had prepared for them. As they sat on a large, flat stone and enjoyed the warmth from the sun and the occasional spray from the falls, they chatted and generally enjoyed the lovely day. Not to mention the scenery. Scenery meaning the two extremely hot shirtless guys running around the falls, getting wet and sweaty and trying to out-strut one another… Ahem.

"What's up with Leon today? Is it just me or has he been acting kind of weird all day?" Yuffie asked between bites of her sandwich. The three of them were watching Cloud and Leon continue to clear out rubble, as both of them had claimed that they weren't hungry and didn't need to stop for lunch. They were both full of shit, of course, and the girls knew it, but who were they to interfere in matters of machismo?

"Don't mind him, Yuffie. He has his bad days and then he has his…" Aerith searched for a decent word.

"Worse days?" Tifa suggested with a grin. Aerith gave her an admonishing look, but couldn't hide a smile.

"Be nice. He's just having a great day, so let's just give him some space. He'll be back to normal soon."

"When is Leon _normal_?" Asked Yuffie.

"Hanging out with Cloud seems to do him good. He seems a lot more relaxed when he's around Cloud than when he's around any of us," Tifa observed. "And Leon's good for Cloud too. Cloud'll get mopey if he doesn't have someone around to keep him occupied and his mind off his problems and this little rivalry thing they have going seems to do the trick."

"Maybe Leon is uptight around us because we're girls," mused Aerith. "He doesn't like sleeping at Merlin's much either and that's where all of us are all the time."

"Yeah, but Cid's there too and Cid is definitely a guy. He acts around Cid like he acts around us," Tifa pointed out.

Yuffie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but Cid is a cranky old grouchpants. _Anyone_ would be uptight around him."

Tifa and Aerith looked at each other and then up at where Cid was wrangling with the crane, which had been temperamental as always. They could hear his cursing even over the sound of the falls.

"She has a point." Tifa laid back on the rock to get the full effect of the afternoon sun. "Hell, maybe Leon really is gay, crushing on Cloud and just awkward about it. We tease him so much about it that I never really stopped to consider if we actually could be right."

Aerith wiped her mouth and looked at Tifa with a little frown.

"Do you really think he could be gay?"

The girl in the black bikini rolled onto her stomach and looked up at Aerith.

"Well, I don't any reason to think he _couldn't_ be, if you know what I mean. He's never done anything out-and-out fruity, but it's always a possibility, isn't it? Not that it really matters to us either way. I mean, I like the guy but I wouldn't want to _date_ him." Tifa paused and raised a brow at Aerith. "Unless you have a crush on him…?"

The brunette shook her head quickly. "Oh no. I was just curious. But if Leon has a thing for Cloud, couldn't that make things awkward for you and Cloud?"

"Me and Cloud?" Tifa blinked and laughed a little. "Oh I don't have anything for Cloud. I've known him since we were kids and I love him to death, but not like that. He has just a little too much baggage for me to want to get involved with romantically, you know? What about you and Cloud? I kinda always thought you had a thing for him."

Aerith began to put the picnic things away absently.

"I may have at one point, but I realized that he reminds me too much of an old boyfriend of mine. Not that that's a bad thing," she continued quickly at seeing Tifa's knowing grin. "I just don't want to get caught up in a similar relationship. The first one didn't end too well."

"Ah well." Tifa rolled back onto her back and watched the boys continue to work in the sun. "If nothing else, competing with Leon has given Cloud his self-confidence back. He's not all weird about wearing his wing out in public and that's definitely a step up from where he was."

"Good point. I hadn't thought about it that way. Aerith spread out a towel and stretched out on it beside Tifa. "They could be cute together. They seem to be good for one another, in any case."

A laugh rang from Tifa's throat and she smirked at Aerith. "And here I thought you didn't get turned on by anything. I didn't think a girl like you would be into that sort of thing, you know."

"Well, you shouldn't judge people." Aerith tried to look prim and quickly changed the subject. "On that note, Sora mentioned last time he was in town that he saw Sephiroth around. What do you think about that?"

"I think it's hot. I keep telling Cloud that wings are sexy, but he never listens to me. I mean, Sephiroth is definitely trouble, don't get me wrong, but you have to admit that the guy is really freakin' hot. What's that look for?" Tifa tried to look innocent under Aerith's skeptical gaze and failed miserably.

"Only you, Tifa. I swear… The minute a guy walks onto the scene looking tall, dark, mysterious and dangerous, you lose all sense of reason." Aerith shook her head disparagingly.

"Uh-huh…" Tifa's tell-tale eyebrow went up. "And what about you, Miss Pretty-In-Pink? Are you secretly lusting after some hot Cloud and Leon action in there?" She tapped Aerith's temple and the other girl blushed badly.

"So are you!"

"Of course I am, but everyone _expects_ that of me," teased Tifa. "Besides, we don't even know if Leon's gay or not."

"I keep telling you he is." Yuffie got up and hopped off the rock. Tifa and Aerith sat up and watched her.

"Yuffie, where are you going now?" Aerith called after her.

"Oh, nowhere. I just hear Cid up there cursin' and that means that he's in a really bad mood. No better time to go and tie his shoelaces together and steal his cigarettes if I'm quick enough!" Yuffie's face managed to be completely innocent and dripping with malice at the same time. Neither Tifa nor Aerith could ever figure out how she managed to do it.

"Did you happen think of the possibility that tying his shoelaces together while he's up on the huge cliff may result in him tripping, falling off and cracking his skull open?" Tifa asked.

The younger girl made a dismissive gesture and grinned.

"Oh his ol' granite head is way too hard to be hurt just by _that_." And with that she skipped off to do her ninja thing.

Both Tifa and Aerith watched her for a moment and then looked at each other.

"As much as I hate to admit it, she may be right." Tifa remarked.

"What are the odds on them killing each other?" Aerith asked.

"Currently, it's three to five in Yuffie's favor."

"I'd like to place fifty more Munny on Yuffie killing Cid before the month's out." Aerith reached for her purse and Tifa snickered.

"At this rate, I should forget bartending and just run a bookie service."

* * *

It was late in the afternoon before Leon decided that it was time for a break. The work wasn't easy or fun and he had been doing it since he had arrived earlier that morning, so he didn't feel as if he were shirking off. Besides, the girls had taken their hour-and-a-half "break" which he knew meant eating for fifteen minutes and then talking for the rest of the time. Oh well, they had done a lot of work too so it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't as if he had been hoping to get all of Rising Falls cleaned up today anyways. In fact, they had gotten even more work done than he had expected since the Heartless hadn't shown up at all.

"All things considered, a good day so far. If only it weren't so _hot_."

A glance up at the scorching orb in the faultlessly blue sky told Leon that it wasn't going to cool down anytime soon. At least they would be able to work until it got dark fairly late in the evening if all went well. In any case, if the work kept going on this well, they would hopefully have Rising Falls back to the way it was in less than a month.

As he sat and looked around at the falls that had been one of his favorite places since childhood, Leon's eyes fell on Cloud, who was also taking a break and eating his lunch as well. The blonde had also found a way to beat the heat – he was using his wing to fan himself and looking quite pleased with himself about it.

"Hn, that's a nice change. He goes from being angst-ridden about his "dark mark" from exploiting it to all it's worth. Typical Strife." Grumbled Leon. But the opportunity was too good not to take advantage of, so he picked himself up and walked over to where Cloud was sitting. The swordsman looked up as Leon approached.

"What is it now?"

"Nothing, really. I just came to congratulate you on finally dealing with your handicap." Leon said, gesturing to Cloud's wing. Cloud looked back at it and grinned up at Leon.

"Yeah, I'm beginning to discover that it has its perks."

"How very lovely for you. Not everyone has such a useful deformity."

Cloud stood up and smirked right in Leon's face,

"What, you mean that scar on your head doesn't conceal a built-in air-conditioning unit?"

The taunting expression on Leon's face changed instantly to one of real anger. His scar was a taboo subject and Cloud knew it all too well. He'd crossed the line just to piss Leon off and there was no way Leon was going to let it stand.

"You had better watch what you say, Strife." He hissed. "I'll kick your ass and you know it."

Cloud's blue eyes suddenly became as hard as ice and twice as cold and Leon was reminded why Hades had recruited him in the first place. Cloud took a step closer to Leon, his hand going automatically to the hilt of his buster sword.

"Try it, Leon. Everyone knows you're nothing more than a cocky little shit."

"…" Leon was ready to take a swing at Cloud and end the entire affair right there and now, but seconds before he could do so, a loud yell from the top of the cliffs broke the conversation.

"Whoa! Whoa! G'dammit!" Cid was standing at the top of the falls, arms flailing around in circles as he rocked back and forth on the edge. It was obvious that he was about to lose his balance and fall ass-over-teakettle over the edge of the cliffs.

"Oh _shit_." Cloud broke away from Leon and started running over to where Cid was going to fall. Leon followed right on his heels, the rivalry completely tossed off the list of priorities.

However, they got there too late. Cid finally lost his balance and toppled off the cliff, yelling something as he plummeted down to the bottom of the falls and landed in some shallow water at the bottom of the falls. There was a shattering silence as Cloud and Leon sprinted over to where he lay.

"Cid!" Cloud bounded through the shallow water and kneeled at Cid's side. The man was lying face up in some water and not moving. Bad sign. Very bad sign.

"Fuck… We gotta get Aerith over here. She knows about this sorta thing." Cloud looked more worried than Leon had ever seen him. "He's breathing, but he's not moving and his leg's bent like it's broken."

"Aerith's coming." Leon tried to sound calm and reassuring. "I have an idea to get him out of the water. Hand me your sword."

Not even questioning, Cloud handed his buster sword to Leon, who slid it under Cid and used it as a makeshift stretcher. With one of them carrying each end, they managed to slide him back up onto a dry area.

"Nnnnng…" Cid moaned a little and his eyes fluttered open. "Mrrrrngh…"

"Hey, take it easy. Aerith's coming and we'll get you straightened out." Cloud looked up and saw that Tifa and Aerith were indeed running over as fast as they could.

"Cloud…" Cid's voice was little more than a grumble, but he gestured for Cloud to come closer. The blonde leaned his head down next to Cid's mouth.

"What is it, Cid?"

Cid coughed and his voice got a bit stronger,

"Tell Muffin… that until my bones knit, she's a dead man walkin'."

At that, Cloud stood up and grinned. If Cid was already making death threats, he was going to be fine. But where _was_ Yuffie? If she was responsible for this, then the prank war was definitely beginning to go too far. His blue eyes scanned the cliff above, looking for a glimpse of her. The ninja wasn't hard to spot – she was standing motionless on the edge of the cliff, her hands over her mouth in an expression of shock. It was more than obvious that she hadn't intended to hurt the grouchy old pilot and was horrified to discover that her joke had real consequences.

"Yuffie!" Cloud shouted forcefully up at her. His voice echoed off the walls of the cliffs and sounded almost like a roar. The girl blanched and looked, for once in her life, terrified.

"Get down here _now_!"

With a meek nod, the young ninja began to make her way down.

While Cloud succeeded in scaring the mischief-making hell out of Yuffie, Leon was watching as Aerith inspected Cid for injuries. The only major one seemed to be his broken leg and some bruising, but even with all that, Cid was very lucky.

"You're going to be fine, Cid. You're very lucky," Aerith used her best calm, soothing voice on him. "A week's rest and some hi-potions should take care of this in no time."

"I'm gonna kill'er when I can walk again…" Cid growled menacingly.

"That's just the injury talking," Aerith told him sternly. "I'm sure it was an accident and- are your shoelaces tied together?"

"Of course they are!" Cid hollered. "You don't think I'm fool enough to just fall off a cliff, do you! That little brat tied 'em together when I wasn't looking and made me trip!"

"…At least she was right about the granite-head part." Tifa muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Cid snapped his angry gaze over to the bartender.

Tifa looked away quickly. "I said 'You poor thing. Bless your heart.'"

"Hn." Cid settled back. "Bless my _leg_ you mean."

Meanwhile, Cloud and Leon had Yuffie off to the side and were getting the whole story from her. Well, they were trying to amidst her crying and blubbering.

"I d-didn't mean to actually _hurt_ him!" She sniffled dismally into a napkin from the picnic. "It was supposed to be funny!"

"Nobody's laughing, Yuffie. Least of all Cid." Leon crossed his arms over his chest. "You're going to have to apologize."

She looked frightened. "But he'll kill me if I get near him!"

"No 'buts'. You fucked up, you gotta deal with the consequences." Cloud said mercilessly. "If you think he's going to try to snap your neck or something, wait a few days until he's calmed down. But you apologize and be nice to him at least until his leg heals. Then you can go back to doing whatever it is you do to make him so mad."

"O-okay…" Yuffie looked a bit more calm and looked up at the two older men. "I'll be nice. By the way, you two look a little red…"

Leon shook his head. "Don't change the subject. Go gather up the picnic stuff and whatever else is lying around. We're calling it a day."

Once they made it back at Merlin's, things finally began to settle down a bit. After answering the bewildered old wizard's initial question of "What in God's name happened!" they managed to get Cid situated on Merlin's bed and give him a hi-potion, which seemed to improve his spirits vastly. He was still grouchy and generally unpleasant, but was that really all that much different from how he acted all the time? The girls decided that ordering a pizza was the best option for dinner since nobody in particular felt like cooking and went to go shower after the day's events. Yuffie had followed slowly behind the rest of the group on the way back and vanished as soon as she could. Nobody knew where she was now.

While waiting for Tifa and Aerith to finish up with the shower, Cloud walked over to Leon, looking somewhat uncomfortable.

"Hey Leon?" He asked.

"What is it?" Leon looked up at him, wondering what Cloud could want now. Was it to continue the fight that had been brewing right before Cid fell? If that was the case, he was ready to fight, although the events that transpired between now and then made the entire fight seem pointless.

Cloud put his hands in his pockets. "I didn't mean what I said earlier. I was being a prick."

Surprise wasn't something that Leon felt too often, but he felt it now. He raised his brow and half smirked at his blonde friend.

"An apology? From the famously unapologetic Cloud Strife? I feel honored."

Cloud put his hands on his hips defensively. "Wait a minute. I didn't apologize – I just admitted I was a prick."

"And I'm admitting I think you're right." Leon actually almost smiled at him. Upon seeing the not-quite expression, Cloud relaxed and grinned. He and Leon may have weird ways of showing it, but there was no doubt that they were the best of buddies.

"Ha. If I'm a prick, then you're a prick too." He slapped Leon on the back affectionately.

A wave of anguish surged across Leon's back and he choked back a yelp of pain. Automatically, his hand shot out and slapped Cloud's back as well, fulfilling the human defense mechanism of hurting the thing that caused you pain. He could hear Cloud yell "Ow!" as his eyes watered. His back was on _fire_, especially where Cloud had hit it and he had no idea why. All Leon knew was that he couldn't let anyone see him cry, especially after all the bizarre things he had been saying today. They would never let him live it down. Neither man moved for several long moments, paralyzed by their mutual agony.

"My body… is a mountain… of pain…" Cloud whimpered through a constricted throat. "_Why_ did that hurt so bad?"

Leon looked over and saw tears leaking from the corners of Cloud's eyes. If he hadn't felt like doing the same thing, he would have harassed Cloud within an inch of his life.

"I think… we got sunburned." He answered.

"No… shit." Cloud looked over at Leon's back. "Ooooh man… you are _red_. And there's a big handprint where I slapped you that's all white…"

"Shut up, you have one too." Leon looked at Cloud's as well and grimaced as he tried to move. He hadn't noticed the sunburn before, but now that it was there, it was the only thing he could feel.

_Now I know why I couldn't remember the last time I had a sunburn_, he thought to himself. _It's because I can't remember the last time I was outside without a jacket and a shirt._

"…getting some of that aloe vera oil stuff. Want me to get you some too?" Cloud was asking Leon. "I think it's supposed to help if you rub it all over your sunburn."

"Yeah I'd love for you to rub oil all over me," Leon murmured to Cloud, distracted.

Cloud just looked at him for a long moment before he limped off. "I think that sunburn got to your brain."

"Huh?" Leon looked after him and shook his head. It was probably nothing. He lookd down at his bright red skin and grimaced. One thing was for sure: tomorrow was definitely an inside work day.


	3. Leon Likes Being On Top

**A Day in the Life of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee**

Author: Xanthos Samurai

Rating: PG-13 (I hate this new rating system, so I use the movie rating system. Yes, I was on here back when it was still G, PG, etc. I'm old.)

Warnings: Slash/yaoi, whatever you wanna call it. Two guys in a romantic/sexual relationship. Brokeback Swordsmen, if you prefer. Aside from that… cursing, sexual innuendos, spoilers for all three Kingdom Hearts games and blatant Tron abuse.

Disclaimer: You know Sora's combo limit with Jack Skellington where they kind of do the tango? If I owned the game, it would be dancing with Jack Sparrow. _Dirty_ dancing. With Sora in a sexy dress.

Feedback: Appreciated like Curaga when fighting Sephiroth.

Notes: I find it a really bizarre kind of irony that after I wrote the last chapter, I nearly got heatstroke at Six Flags and my brother got so badly sunburned on a campout that his face blistered. Kinda scary! Maybe I should write about Cloud and Leon uncovering a gold mine in Hollow Bastion and I'll win the lottery. I can dream, right?

This chapter took a little bit longer than the others to write and I apologize for the delay. My goal is to update at least once every other week, preferably every week, but I am a college student and I have a long list of video games to beat, so I can't make any promises. I've also since noticed that it's actually the Hollow Bastion **Reconstruction** Committee. I felt like a moron, but I think restoration sounds better, dangit. Since nobody else has seemed to have a problem, I'm gonna kep it the way it is. I make some references to some original Disney movies in here as well as a big reference to a well-known scene in Final Fantasy VII involving Cid, so I hope people catch 'em. Other than that, keep an eye out for some new characters showing up!

* * *

After the events of the previous day, none of the members of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee were in the mood to go back out to Rising Falls and work. Actually, none of them were in the mood to go anywhere that wasn't back to bed. Cid's broken foot was making him even crankier than usual, Cloud and Leon could hardly move without their sunburns causing them massive amounts of pain and Yuffie was maxing out her ninja stealth skills in order to be as scarce as possible until everything calmed down. The only three members who weren't in some way miserable were Aerith, Tifa and Merlin. Conveniently enough the wizard decided that now was the ideal time to take a trip to visit his old friend Yen-Sid and announced the next morning that he was leaving, he would be gone for a week at the most, there was food they could heat up in the fridge and would they please feed the stray cats he cared for while he was gone? Before any of them could yell "abandonment," he had vanished. 

As resentful that they were that they couldn't just zap themselves to different places, none of them could really blame Merlin. Who in their right mind would want to hang around with a group like _this_ all the time? Things were crazy enough under normal circumstances, but dealing with three charmers such as Cloud, Leon and Cid while they were injured and pissy would make anyone want to get away for a week.

"Don't forget that you guys owe me work at the bar since I helped you at the falls. It still needs a lot of work." Tifa reminded them right after Merlin left. All three of the men gave her identical expressions of "Woman, are you out of your _mind_?"

"In case ya forgot, I'm kinda injured." Cid pointed to his bandaged foot with the cigarette between his fingers. "So, as much as I'd love to get back to doin' actual work, I'm outta the picture for a while."

"I don't think Leon and I are going anywhere either. It hurts to _move_, much less actually trying to construct a building," Cloud said.

Both he and Leon really did look pathetic. Their chests, arms, shoulders, backs and faces were all an eye-smarting shade of magenta and even the lightest of touches was enough to send their skin aflame all over again. As a result, the only clothes they could tolerate wearing over their burns were loose t-shirts. Cloud had immediately ripped the sleeves off his.

"It's your own fault you got sunburned so badly, you know. Aerith tried to tell you to wear sunscreen." Tifa pointed out.

"She didn't tell _me_," said Cloud. "_I_ would have listened."

"If you're so stupid that you can't tell when you're getting a sunburn, then you deserve it." Tifa told him crisply. She actually had a lot of sympathy for her old friend although she had never been burned in her life. "In any case, since you and Leon can't come, I'm getting Aerith to come help me instead. Can you guys deal with being here by yourselves?"

Leon just gave her a look.

"You don't need to treat us like children. We'll be fine."

"Yeah, we've been taking care of ourselves our whole lives. You know how capable of taking care of ourselves we are." Cloud said.

Everyone else in the room fell silent for a long moment.

Cloud crossed his arms over his chest, looking annoyed. "We're not _that_ bad."

"Wait a minute, Tifa… Maybe I should stay here." Aerith protested.

"No, just go." Cloud eased himself onto a couch. "I want you to go get your bar open so I can go get plastered."

Tifa sighed and rolled her eyes over at Aerith.

"The man has a point. C'mon, let's go – they can take care of themselves."

Aerith looked at them with concern,

"If you say you'll be all right… But if you need anything, have the security system go off outside the bar. We'll see it and come back, okay?"

"Fine, we will. Just go." Leon sat down on the couch beside Cloud.

The girls didn't need to be told twice and left, though Aerith still looked a little worried. The minute the door closed behind them, the three men all let out inaudible sighs of relief. None of them were the type who liked to be coddled, especially when injured. There was no doubt that Aerith was a saint, but at this point, the only thing all the three of them really wanted was to wallow in their personal miseries.

"How long do these things usually last anyways?" Cloud looked down at his crimson arm distastefully.

"About a week." Leon leaned his head back against the wall and looked sideways at Cloud. "Do you plan to do anything today?"

"Nothing that requires me moving more than about five feet," Cloud replied. "I feel awful. How about you? Are you gonna do anything?"

"Not really. There isn't really anything to do but wait."

Cid snorted at the two of them from his customary place in front of his computer.

"Hn. While you two lazy asses sit around and eat bonbons all day, I'm gonna get some work done. If I can't work on the machinery that we're gonna use to fix up this hellhole, I can at least work on gettin' the computer systems back online." Cid eyed the computer as he hit the power button. Merlin had been in too much of a hurry that morning to turn it on, so he had to do it. With obvious distaste, Cid poked the button with one calloused finger and waited.

"Why do you have a problem with Tron? There's nothing wrong with him." Leon said.

Cid growled as the screen lit up. "It just ain't right for machines to be able to answer ya back. Ain't natural."

"But User Cid, I'm not a machine." Tron's voice issued from the speakers. "I'm actually a computer program, designed to-"

"Shut up and run the virus scan, ya damn pixilated freak." Cid clenched a cigarette between his teeth and put his feet up onto the console. "I have a lotta junk to do today and I don't wanna hafta put up with yer machine weirdness."

"User Cid, I told you I'm not a-"

"Shut up and run the goddamn virus scan!"

The cause of Cid's bizarre abusive relationship with Tron was currently unknown to the rest of the Committee. All they knew was that after Cid and Leon had built the computer at Merlin's to be fully integrated to the one found in Ansem's study, a strange blue man by the name of Tron had suddenly appeared in the computer and said that he was there to help them in any way he could. To the delight of the committee, Tron was polite, helpful, courteous and efficient. Cid couldn't stand him.

"Virus scan complete. All threats to the system's security have been eradicated." Tron popped back up on the screen. "Is there anything else I can do?"

Cid grunted and stuck a cigarette between his lips, reaching for his lighter. "Not until I go through the system myself. Gotta be sure that everything's secure before I actually start gettin' work done."

Something that resembled concern crossed the program's face.

"Is there something wrong with my system scanner? Is my software out of date?"

"Tron, you're fine. Cid's just being old and pissed off." Cloud called over to Tron. "His systems have a few bugs in them, if you know what I mean."

"Is there anything I can do to help? It's unfortunate that your components are malfunctioning, but perhaps I can find a solution for you, User Cid." Tron seemed genuinely eager to help, but Cid turned and bawled at Cloud,

"You keep yer trap shut or I'll give ya a _real_ reason to stay inside all day!"

"You mean you'll fix Hollow Bastion, kill Sephiroth, destroy Hades and render Yuffie permanently mute for me? I didn't know you were such a nice guy." Cloud grinned at Cid from his comfortable spot on the couch. "What a sweetheart."

"Who knew that Cid had it in him?" The brunette beside Cloud smirked lazily.

"Leon," Cid growled warningly. "If you and Spike don't shut up, I'll skin you alive and give you both to the first Organization XIII member I can find."

"Hey! Don't call me Spike!" Cloud glared over at Cid. "It makes it sound like I'm Leon's dog or something. May as well put on a collar and run around whimpering."

Leon was trying as hard as he could not to say anything for fear of making yet another embarrassing statement when he felt something trickle out of his nose. He reached up and found to his immense mortification that it was blood.

"Shit." He stood up hurriedly, glad for an excuse to get away. "Cloud, let's play a game or something."

"A game?" Cloud looked skeptical. "I always beat you at games."

"Not checkers." Leon held a hand to his nose and pushed himself up off the couch, hoping that Cloud and Cid didn't notice. That was the _last_ thing he needed. "Clear off Merlin's table and we'll play. And by play, I mean I'll destroy you."

"Bullshit!" His quarrel with Cid forgotten, Cloud jumped up and went over to the table on the raised dais in the middle of the room and began clearing it off for the game.

Cid watched the two of them for a moment longer and turned back to the computer, flicking the ash off the end of his cigarette with practiced fingers as he did so. Those two idiot kids would whine about anything but the minute you gave them a chance to compete, they'd jump at it.

"User Cid? Could you dispose of your ash in a proper receptacle? It's getting in between the keys." Tron piped up again.

"Shaddap or I'll dump the entire ashtray in your motherboard," snarled Cid. He turned and began to click away at the security system program, pointedly ignoring Tron's eager-to-please face in the lower right-hand corner of the screen.

Meanwhile, Leon was digging through Merlin's Bag of Holding for a checkerboard. The old wizard had taught all of the committee members how to use the bag so that they wouldn't clutter up his house. Having five people living in one tiny house was difficult, but possible. Having five people living in one tiny house when one of them is a wizard with a serious packrat complex and the rest are messy teenagers was impossible without the use of magic. After pulling out an array of miniaturized items such as furniture, a tea set, some gardening tools, a box marked "Specialty Books. Do Not Open" (Leon didn't want to know), a trunk full of spare robes, a sword sticking out of an anvil, and a rather large axe with a tag proclaiming "In case of over-enthusiastic squirrels" (Leon _really_ didn't want to know), he finally found a tiny checkerboard and a bag full of pieces.

"Remind me never to ask about Merlin's personal life." Leon muttered as he walked back over to the table.

"Say what?" Cloud looked up him. The blonde was fanning himself with a stray piece of paper. The breeze made his hair flutter a little bit and Leon couldn't help but just watch. The funny thing about Cloud's hair was that it looked like it would be stiff and hard to the touch, but in reality it was quite soft, just like anyone else's hair. It just happened to naturally look like Cloud had stuck a key in a light socket at an early age in an attempt to "drive the house" and his hair had never gotten over the experience. Leon remembered being surprised by how soft it was once when he had been wrapping a bandage around Cloud's head after a particularly bad battle with the Heartless.

"Leon, are you there?" Cloud frowned up at Leon. Why had he been acting so weird lately? "_Leon_."

Leon jerked back to reality with a start. He shook his head to clear it and sat down across from Cloud, placing the tiny checker board between the two of them in the cleared space.

"Sorry. Do the spell to make them bigger."

"I always think I'm gonna mess up the words and blow up the house. I never paid any attention to the non-battle magic we learned." Cloud looked down at them doubtfully. "Hockey pockety wockety wack?"

Instantly, the checkerboard and pieces began to slowly increase in size until they were the size of a normal set. For all that Cid grumbled about magic, it was certainly handy.

"I want to be the black pieces." Leon began to set up his side of the board.

Cloud shrugged and began to gather the red pieces. "It doesn't matter what color you are. I'll still win."

"Cloud, you didn't even know how to play checkers until 'bout three weeks ago." Cid grinned at him over his shoulder. "Checkers is a game of strategy and you have about as much strategy as a Chocobo with its head cut off."

A glower crossed Cloud's face and he threw one of the extra pieces at Cid.

"Hey Tron, Cid's been trying to stop smoking. Why don't you show him all the files that Ansem has on how smoking's actually bad for you?"

"Certainly!" Tron vanished, presumably off to go find a plethora of articles detailing the dangers of Cid's favorite habit.

To their amusement, Cloud and Leon found that a peculiar twitching had started in Cid's left eye when he looked back at them.

"When my leg ain't broken, I am gonna kill the both of you. Slowly. Painfully. And then I'm gonna make you into Gummi fuel."

Leon raised a brow over at Cid. "I thought that Gummi ships ran on happy faces, Cid."

Cloud snickered. The twitch in Cid's left eye suddenly intensified and he gave the two young men a smile.

"It'll run off _my_ happy face."

Cid smiling was scary enough by itself, but Cid smiling like _that_ was more than enough to convince Cloud and Leon to leave him alone, at least for a little while. The game actually kept the two of them quiet until Leon got one of his pieces into the back row of Cloud's side of the board.

"Do me," he said triumphantly.

"Say _what_?" Cloud looked up at Leon blankly. "What the hell did you just say?"

For the first time, Leon was glad that he was sunburned – it hid the fact that he was blushing horribly.

"I meant king me," he gestured desperately towards the board. "I got to your end so you have to king me."

"Oh." Cloud kinged Leon's piece, still eying him uncomfortably. "That sounded bad."

"No it didn't," Leon said stiffly. Inwardly, his mind was railing at him: _Great, now even Cloud's beginning to catch on. Next thing you know, they'll be comparing me to that fruit Setzer. I need this like I need Cloud to pin me up against the wall and rip my clothes off. Mm… I **need**_ _that. Wait! No I don't! What the hell am I saying!_

"Yeah, it really did." Cloud once again interrupted Leon's thoughts. He sat back in his chair and gestured to the board. "Your move."

"Whassamatter, Leon? Game got you all flustered?" Cid snickered.

"…." Leon didn't even dignify Cid with a response.

The game continued uneventfully for the next half an hour or so. Leon cheerfully (well, as cheerfully as Leon could get without the aid of several strong drinks) decimated Cloud's pieces while Cloud cursed and protested fruitlessly.

"You suggested this just so you could beat me," whined Cloud.

Leon deftly jumped another piece. "Of course I did. Stop whining – defeat makes you stronger if you learn from it."

"That is the biggest load of crap I've ever heard," Cloud shook his head and looked down at the board with darkened eyes. "The only thing that makes you stronger is winning. Going into a battle you can't win is just a foolish waste of time. Those who can't win their fights should just stay out of them."

The brunette looked at Cloud for a long moment. "Cloud-"

At that moment, Cid leapt up from his chair (despite his broken leg) and slammed both fists down upon the keyboard with violent force. His cigarette somehow managed to stay firmly clenched in his teeth as he railed at the computer. "_Dammit_! What the !# is this #!$# piece of !$# think it's &$!&# doing! Tron, d'you have any !# idea how much you've &!$# up my entire #!&$! project! I'm gonna rip you apart!"

Cid seized his trusty metal pole and began to really go to town on the computer console, beating it like a Heartless caught in the First District.

"User Cid, you're in danger of demolishing my hardware!" Tron's anxious face appeared on screen. "Please desist immediately or permanent damage may be sustained to my primary functions!"

"What the hell d'ya think I'm tryin' to do, you $&?" Cid bellowed.

Fortunately, Cid only managed to get four or five good hits before Cloud and Leon wrestled the pole away from him. It took a few minutes and some near misses, but Leon finally ripped the pole out of Cid's hands while Cloud shoved Cid back down into the chair.

"Calm down, old man!" Cloud smacked Cid upside the head. "Are you trying to destroy the entire computer?"

"Shut up and gimme my stick! I'm gonna beat that !$#& computer into the _ground_!" Cid tried to get up again, but Cloud held him down,

"I don't know what your problem is, but don't take it out on Tron. He's just doing his job." Cloud looked over at Leon. "Check on him and make sure that Cid didn't actually break anything important."

Leon nodded and turned to the console. It was battered up pretty badly, but didn't appear to have sustained any permanent, unfixable damage. He hit a few keys expertly and scanned the screen with his serious eyes.

"Tron, are you there?"

"I'm… I'm here, User Leon." Tron answered after a long minute. "I'm afraid that some of my functions may be impaired. I need to run a full diagnostic to ensure that I can still perform my duties."

"Don't worry about it, Tron. I'll shut you down so you can do all the work you need and you can give me a list of any replacement components that you need when I turn you back on. How's that sound?" Leon leaned on the console and glanced sharply over at Cid as he spoke. The older man just looked away, chomping on his cigarette.

"That sounds excellent. Thank you, User Leon." Tron faded away as Leon hit the switch that turned the computer off.

"Happy now?" Cloud moved away from Cid and looked down at him. "You just beat the hell out of a computer program. Does that make you feel like a big strong man?"

A snarled response was on Cid's lips, but Leon shook his head at Cloud.

"Enough. Cid, why don't you go cool down somewhere?" Leon's serious gaze seemed to look right through Cid. "Just because you're injured doesn't mean you have an excuse to be a jerk."

Still grumbling profanities better left inaudible, Cid got up and hobbled out of the room. Both Cloud and Leon looked after him until he was out of sight and then Cloud sank into the chair with an annoyed grunt.

"He still thinks that he's got a supreme right to be a cranky asshole whenever it suits him. It drives me outta my mind."

"Just ignore him. He's not our problem." Leon walked over to Cloud and sat on the arm of the chair carelessly.

"Of course he's our problem," Cloud turned his head and looked up at Leon out of the corner of his eye. "He's one of us. If there's one thing I know, it's that it's impossible to do everything alone. You have to stick with the people willing to stick with you."

No small amount of surprise filled Leon's eyes as he looked down at Cloud. The speech was the last thing that Leon had been expecting, especially from the usually stoic swordsman. As long as Leon had known Cloud, he had known the older man to be aloof and vehemently opposed to having to rely on anyone or having anyone rely on him. And now he was Mr. "There's-No-I-In-Team?" What the hell?

"This is a change. I wasn't aware that you were suddenly all gung-ho about being friendly. Or even social, for that matter."

"I'm here, aren't I?" Cloud retorted. He paused a moment, glancing up at Leon once. "Besides… The Underworld isn't exactly a fun place to hang out. You get lonely and start missing people and things you know. You start missing things you know are real."

Empathy surged through Leon as he looked down at his old friend. Cloud took such great pains to avoid talking about when he was in Hades' employ that it was easy to forget that he had been there at all. The time that he spent there must have been horrendous – the Underworld had a bad reputation even in a place as far away as Hollow Bastion.

"Cloud…" Leon leaned down, wanting to console his friend. However, he leaned too far and ended up flailing off the arm of the chair and crashing unceremoniously into Cloud's lap in a tangle of sunburned limbs and torsos.

"Ow! What the hell are you doing!" cried Cloud, indignant at being used as a landing pad. "Get off me!"

Amidst their mutual flailing, Cloud managed to catch Leon square in the eye with his elbow. In retaliation, Leon grabbed a spike of Cloud's hair and yanked sharply.

"Hold still so I can get up, you numbskull." growled the brunette.

"Why'd you jump on top of me anyways!" Cloud stopped moving and settled for glaring at Leon. "Did you do it on purpose or something?"

Leon paused and looked into Cloud's eyes, raising a brow at him. "Yes, Cloud. Because you know how much I _love_ being on top of you."

The sentence had been intended to sound sarcastic. Judging from the blush creeping across the bridge of Cloud's nose, it didn't sound nearly sarcastic enough. Leon sat on Cloud's lap with his mouth open, trying to ignore his own blush while trying to think of something to say to keep himself from sound like a complete queer.

"Am I interrupting something?"

The words came from none other than Yuffie, who was standing in the doorway of Merlin's house with a smirky expression. Hurriedly, Cloud shoved Leon off his lap and stood up, glaring at the ninja.

"Leon was being an idiot and fell into my lap. It's no big deal."

With a grunt, Leon picked himself up off the floor and gave Cloud the evil eye. "Who are you calling an idiot?"

"Tee-hee." Yuffie giggled and put one hand on her hip. "You two. Always flirting."

"We're not flirting!" Both Cloud and Leon yelled in unison, then glanced at each other with confused looks.

Yuffie just laughed harder. "Riiiiiiiiiiiight. Hey, is Cid around? I want to try to apologize…"

"He probably won't be in a good mood, but you're welcome to try." Cloud walked over to the couch and sat down. "Leon told him off pretty good. Right, Leon?"

"…" Leon simply shrugged at Yuffie.

She bit her lip doubtfully. "I'll try again later then. I don't want him to get mad at me _again_. I'm gonna go help Aerith and Tifa, okay? See ya!" Yuffie waved cheerfully and slammed the door.

"She doesn't seem too remorseful," remarked Cloud as he leaned back into the couch.

"It's Yuffie. That's just how she is." The brunette walked over to the couch. "Can I sit down?"

Cloud looked up at him and shrugged carelessly. "If you want. I'm gonna take a nap since nothing else's going on."

"Sounds fine." Leon sank into the couch, careful to sit on the opposite side. "I'll wake you up when the girls get back."

"Thanks." The grin that Cloud flashed at Leon inexplicably made the gunblade wielder's heart skip a beat. "G'night then." With that, Cloud leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes.

It wasn't until Cloud started making little snoring noises that Leon dared to glance over at him. His friend looked more at peace when he was asleep than any other time. It made Leon happy for some reason that he couldn't name. With a sigh, he leaned back and closed his eyes. Maybe Cloud was onto something with this nap idea. He was just beginning to drift off when something brushed against his hair and he opened his eyes to see what it was.

In his sleep, Cloud's arm had flopped over to rest along the back of the couch and his fingertips now rested against Leon's hair. For a few moments, Leon considered moving.

_No… It might wake him up and he needs the sleep,_ Leon thought. _I'll just stay here and act like I didn't notice._

He closed his eyes again and drifted off.

* * *

Some time later, the sound of hushed whispering roused Leon from his nap. Still mostly asleep, he grunted and turned his head, expecting to find Cloud's arm there for him to lean on. However, he rolled over onto nothing but empty air and fell face-first into the couch cushions. The voices paused and started giggling. 

Now fully awake and annoyed at getting a face full of cushion, Leon sat up and wiped the sleep out of his eyes.

"Who's there?" He asked crossly. Leon hated getting laughed at, especially when someone had caught him in the middle of doing something stupid. He wanted to find out so he could get them back later. If the voice hadn't been so high, he would have assumed it was Cloud. Where _was_ Cloud anyways?

The giggling stopped and a cheerful voice answered,

"Hi there, Leon! We're back!"

Leon finally opened his eyes and blinked repeatedly. Fairy girls. There were three of them floating in the air beside the couch, watching him curiously. The one in black looked serious, while the other two, one in orange and one in white and blue, looked mischievous and delighted respectively. He frowned at them, confused.

"Gullwings? What are you doing here?"


	4. Fairies, Shooting and Blowing

**A Day in the Life of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee**

**Author**: Xanthos Samurai

**Rating**: PG-13 (Too much for canon, too little for porn)

**Warnings**: Slash/yaoi, whatever you wanna call it. Two guys in a romantic/sexual relationship. Other than that we have cursing, awkward situations, blatant sexual tension and pugnacious crockery. You've been warned.

**Disclaimer**: If I owned this, Leon would Freudian slip for reals. All the time. Without pause.

**Feedback**: Ever so much loved.

**Notes**: Oh my God, I feel horrible for this taking so insanely long to get up. I got distracted by finals at school, then my summer job ate my life, then starting school back up was hectic as hell. I also had about half a chapter written at one point and then had to completely discard it because it was utter crap. I also had a completely different initial vision of this chapter that ended up veering WAY away from my plans. So… Yeah! Here you go! I'll never let it be that long between updates again, I promise!

That said, I hope this chapter meets expectations after the long wait. I had a lot of fun throwing the Gullwings into the mix with the other Hollow Bastionites and, of course, making Cloud and Leon all the more sexual tension-y. Another part I had way too much fun with was getting to include one of my personal favorite Disney… objects. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

A face full of fairy wasn't exactly what Leon was expecting to wake up to, that's for sure. Well, it would have been perfectly acceptable if the fairy in question had been Cloud…

_No! Wrong kind of fairy! Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts!_ Leon smacked himself in the head with a pillow, much to the bewildered amusement of Yuna, Rikku and Paine.

"Hey Leon, aren't you going to ask us why we've come back to visit?" Rikku floated up and tugged at the fur of his jacket.

"I think he's too busy hitting himself in the head," intoned Paine.

"Leon? Why are you hitting yourself in the head?" Yuna looked at him curiously.

At this point, Leon knew that his plans for a restful nap were already completely shattered, so there was no way that this could be more uncomfortable or awkward.

"I had a bad dream," he muttered.

"Aw, that's too bad." Cloud appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, grinning at Leon as he leaned on the doorjamb. Just the grin would have been enough to make Leon weak in the knees, but the fact that Cloud was wearing _the jeans_ just about made him run for a cold shower.

_The jeans_ weren't anything out of the ordinary, really. Just a normal pair of jeans that had been worn for so long that the fibers were all soft and comfortable and were absolutely molded to Cloud's ass and thighs, nearly to the point of being skin-tight. And as if all that weren't enough, there was a large rip across one thigh that showed a milky sliver of Cloud's skin. The sight of the oh-so-touchable flesh didn't help Leon's self-assertion that he was not, in fact, aroused by a pair of jeans. He was also totally not interested in having his metaphorical brains screwed out by the man wearing them. ….Right.

"Why do you care?" Leon was finally able to speak again after a few moments.

"If you were having a bad dream, you were obviously not dreaming about me." Cloud shrugged and grabbed his bowl of cereal. "Everyone should get to dream about something sexy."

"I have plenty of sexy dreams," retorted Leon.

"But I bet they're not about me." Cloud smirked at him. Nothing was more fun than teasing Leon, especially when he was already grouchy.

"How would you know? They could be!" Leon snapped.

Four pairs of eyes had fixed themselves on Leon before the unfortunate man realized exactly what he had said. Cloud looked down at his bowl to keep from laughing and turned back into the kitchen to finish his cereal. The three fairies simply floated in the air, looking at Leon with expressions that ranged from amused to perplexed.

"I'm going back to bed. Permanently."

"Wait, Leon!" Yuna grabbed his coat, jerking him back with surprising strength. Leon took a quick step back to steady himself and then looked back at her with annoyance.

"What?"

Yuna floated around so that she was hovering right in front of Leon. He noticed in his usual apathetic way that her eyes were wide and especially bright and she seemed even more fluttery than usual.

"Who was that man? The blonde one."

Leon glanced back into the kitchen. Cloud was sitting in a chair, leaning way back so that the chair was balanced on only two legs. A hint of a blue-black wing peeked out from under the hem of his shirt. The sight calmed Leon, though he couldn't say why.

"That's just Cloud."

"Cloud…" Yuna repeated the name slowly, as if tasting it. "But I've never seen him before. Where did he come from?"

Leon shrugged. "He's been around. You probably just haven't seen him since he likes to hide."

Yuna's mis-matched eyes held a sudden frown in them. She glanced over at Cloud and then looked up at Leon.

"What's he hiding from?"

The question was one that Leon had wondered himself. The details of exactly what had happened to Cloud during the years that he was gone from Hollow Bastion were extremely fuzzy. Cloud wasn't exactly offering up information about his time in the Underworld and nobody was all that willing to try to press him to talk about it.

"Cloud's…"

"Hey everybody! We're back!"

At that moment, Yuffie, Tifa and Aerith all walked into the house, each bearing huge bags laden with food, magical jewelry, potions and other typical supplies that the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee needed on a weekly basis. Most of it was food, of course. Between Yuffie, Cid and Leon (who could pack away more food than almost all of them, despite being such a quiet guy), the Committee went through a truly spectacular amount of food every few days. In fact, Merlin could often be heard muttering about it under his breath.

"Thank goodness those blasted Heartless drop Munny," he'd say. "Otherwise, these blasted teenagers would eat me right out of house and home."

The arrival of the girls filled Leon with a distinct sense of relief. He'd had his daily dose of awkwardness already that morning and wasn't interested in making an even bigger fool of himself today. Now that the rest of them were back, they could deal with these… fairies.

"It looks like Leon and Cloud had some company while we were gone." Tifa smiled as she saw Yuna, Rikku and Paine floating in the air in front of Leon.

"I didn't invite them."

Cloud walked into the room, now fully clothed. Leon eyed him, still feeling somewhat defensive,

"And you think I did?"

"No one invited us!" Rikku chimed in. "We just decided to show up! We don't really have anywhere to go now, so we thought maybe you guys would let us stay here? Pleaaaaaaaaaaase?"

"Yes, please?" Yuna added, looking plaintively up at Tifa and Aerith. She glanced over at Paine, as if to try to get her to enforce their point. The third fairy was far too stoic to say anything, but she also looked up at the two young women.

Confronted by three tiny pleading faces, Tifa and Aerith turned to one another. This certainly wasn't a situation that the three of them had been prepared for, especially not during Merlin's absence.

Finally, Tifa went down on one knee so that she was more or less face-to face with the three Gullwings.

"Well, this place doesn't exactly belong to us. It belongs to Merlin, so we can't say whether you can stay for sure or not since he's left on a trip for a while. But," Tifa raised a brow at their momentarily dismayed expressions. "It's okay with us if you stay until he gets back and then he can decide whether it's okay if you stay for good or not. Sound fair?"

"Hooray!" Yuna and Rikku cried in unison and danced around in the air while Paine stood by, looking somewhat pleased.

"Wait a minute. Don't get too excited." Leon stepped forward. He thought it would be a good idea to set some ground rules down now before this entire situation got out of hand. The three girls stopped and looked up at him attentively as he folded his arms across his chest.

"First of all, this isn't all fun and games. If you're going to stay here, you're going to have to be a part of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee. You have to take orders and work hard and not cause trouble. You think you can do that?"

The three fairies saluted in unison. The action reminded Leon of Sora, Donald and Goofy so strongly that he found himself wondering when the silly trio would return to Hollow Bastion.

"Well, now that that's settled, I think we should start on dinner. We have three more mouths to feed, after all." Aerith winked at the three fairies and then turned to Yuffie. "Yuffie, it's your turn to help with dinner. Come with me please."

"Hey!" Yuffie protested loudly. "I already had to help in the kitchen yesterday! That's no fair!"

"You're still being punished for nearly killing Cid, remember? So no protesting or you'll get solo clean-up duty for the rest of the week. Now march!" Aerith pointed to the kitchen.

Yuffie grabbed her bags of groceries and slunk into the kitchen as if she was trudging down to her doom in the Underworld. Aerith followed, looking rather pleased with herself.

"What the hell is all the racket in here about?"

They could hear Cid's voice before they saw him. The old pilot could hobble around now thanks to a steady regimen of hi-potions and enforced bed rest, but he still wasn't completely back to his old self. The result was that he was still grouchy, but now he was mobile enough to be grouchy and within constant earshot.

"We got some new members," Tifa told him cheerfully. She was unruffled as always by Cid's bad attitude. "The Gullwings are going to be staying with us for a while at least."

Cid turned a suspicious, weathered eye to the three fairies. The sight of their bright, shining upturned faces made his stomach lurch. This would only end badly, the curmudgeon within growled. More annoying, conniving young females? He was better off going and camping in Rising Falls and trying his luck with the Heartless and Nobodies.

"Hmph," he glowered at them as if the power of his gaze would physically push them away. "Are we takin' in _anyone_ now? I didn't think this was a _charity_ organization."

"Cid, we're rebuilding an entire world by ourselves with no hope of being compensated for all of our hard work. Of _course_ it's a charity organization." Leon gave the pilot a look while Cloud tried not to let his amusement show.

"Shut up," muttered Cid crankily as he sat down at the computer console. "If you're so damn dedicated to the cause, why don't you go _do_ somethin' for a change?"

"Cid has a point," Tifa stepped in before Leon could get offended. She raised a brow and looked at the two young men. "You two _have_ been in here all day. Why don't you go patrol the town for baddies real quick before dinner? The sun's setting, so you won't make your sunburns any worse."

There wasn't any good reason to protest, so Leon turned and shrugged at Cloud.

"Sure, why not?" Cloud wrapped his red scarf around him as Leon slipped on his jacket. The two of them started towards the door.

"I'll send the girls out out to get you when it's ready," Tifa called after the two of them. After they left, she looked at the Gullwings. "You three can do that for me, right?"

"Of course!" Rikku chirped. Tifa smiled and walked off.

Once they were gone, Paine seized the opportunity to pull Yuna and Rikku aside to an empty corner of the room. She turned to them with her customary apathetic expression and folded her arms across her chest.

"We have to make this work. If we get kicked out of here, we have no place to go. What can we do to make sure that they like us enough to let us stay here?"

Yuna pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Well, it's only the guys that don't seem to like us here. Maybe we just have to get _them_ to like us and then they'll be okay with us staying!"

"That sounds like a good idea," agreed Paine. "There's the dark-haired one, the spiky blonde and the old guy. We can each take one and follow them around. Who wants which?"

"I'd like Cloud." Yuna tried to sound casual, but failed miserably. Rikku and Paine both gave her identical looks.

"Yunie, you have a _crush_ on him!" Rikku teased her fairy cousin, causing Yuna's cheeks to turn a pinkish color. She coughed and turned away from her two comrades.

"I just… happen to like guys with spiky blonde hair…" She looked down at the ground.

Paine rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Rikku, what about you?"

"I want the old guy! Cid!" Rikku exclaimed. "He seems really fun!"

Neither Yuna nor Paine could understand what about the grouchy mechanic would appeal to Rikku as 'fun,' but they had long since learned not to protest when Rikku had announced something like that.

"Then I'll take Leon." There was a note of relief and (just perhaps) a hint of happiness in Paine's voice. She could definitely think of worse things than having to follow around a tall, dark and handsome man like Leon, that's for sure…

"It's settled then," she said to her fellow Gullwings. "Starting tomorrow, we're their shadows."

* * *

Meanwhile, Cloud and Leon were walking along the bailey, watching the sunset and vanquishing the few heartless that were foolish enough to skitter out of their hiding places and attack them. For the most part, the two of them walked in silence. They knew each other well enough that it wasn't necessary for them to fill the short space between them with words. Every once in a while, however, one of them would remark something. Usually it was thoughtful and poignant as befitting two men who had experienced more traumatic things than most. Theirs was a bond forged of mutual tact and wordless understanding and the ability to perceive the other's moods when others couldn't. So what happened next managed to give Leon one hell of a heart attack.

"You've been acting really fucking weird." Cloud told Leon flatly out of the blue.

"What?" Leon stopped in his tracks and stared stupidly at the blonde. Why was he never able to maintain his cool and aloof persona when Cloud ambushed him like that? Around anyone else, he could stay calm and on top of things, but not with Cloud. For some reason, Cloud managed to reduce him into a stuttering moron every time.

"You've been acting fucking weird," repeated Cloud. He didn't even look over at Leon as he said it – just said the words as if they were a fact and not an opinion.  
"I don't know what you're talking about."

Anxiety twisted Leon's guts into a knot. He was a bad liar and he knew it. Cloud knew it. Hell, _everyone_ knew it. However, Leon decided to cling with his fingernails to the last desperate shred of denial that he had.

"I've been acting the way I usually act." Leon's posture was stiff – it always was when he was uncomfortable. Shoulders, arms and torso tightened like a bowstring. What he didn't realize was that Cloud could see the tenseness, could tell that Leon was on edge.

Swinging the buster sword up to rest on his shoulder, Cloud fixed an amused, if exasperated look on his friend.

"Leon, you're a horrible liar."

At that, Leon bristled sharply and glared over at Cloud.

"I am _not_ a bad lay!"

See Leon. See Leon look at Cloud. See Leon wish that a Fat Body would appear out of nowhere and crush him into an unrecognizable pile of goo.

To his credit, Cloud didn't burst out laughing or start teasing Leon… Well, not immediately. A grin curled his lip and he ducked his head so that Leon couldn't see that he was snickering under his breath. Leon, to his immense horror, felt a burning sensation creep up his neck to his face. His ears felt like they were on fire.

"That's not what I meant," Leon crossed his arms over his chest and tried his best to look stern and impassive, as if assuming a Very Serious Pose would counterbalance the idiocy what he had just said.

A snort from Cloud was his only response. "Yeah right."

Leon snapped his head up to look at Cloud. His eye twitched involuntarily – a sure sign of ire. Cloud, however, seemed unconcerned.

"Leon, you're a bad liar. Just stop."

As Leon was about to utter a no-doubt brilliant rebuttal, but slinking movement glimpsed out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. A Shadow Heartless crept out of the stone wall that encircled the postern and began to creep up behind Cloud. Suddenly serious, Leon drew his gunblade and aimed it at Cloud.

"Don't movie."

The bullet whistled so close to Cloud's face that he could fee the wind of it on his cheek as it passed by. It impacted with something behind Cloud with a muted thud and a hiss. The blonde turned around in just enough time to see the remains of a Heartless dissipate and a pink heart rise and vanish into the dark sky.

"Nice shot." Cloud turned back to face Leon.

The other man lowered his gunblade and looked over at Cloud.

"You shouldn't be surprised. You've seen me shoot before."

The blush that had been receding from Leon's face flared up again with a vengeance once he realized quite how homoerotic that sentence sounded. A quick glance at Cloud told him that Cloud noticed as well. The blonde was _smirking_.

"I'm going to shoot _you_," Leon told him flatly. He began to walk off.

"Yeah, I bet you're just dying to blow my head off." Cloud picked up his sword and began to follow him.

"Of course I want to blow you."

A low snort from Cloud was all it took for Leon to want to crawl into a hole and die from embarrassment.

_That's it. I'm going to go and live in the cave under Traverse Town and never come out again_, he thought.

* * *

"So what do you think of our new little friends?" Tifa looked at Aerith over the pot of water they were boiling to make pasta. The two of them were standing over the enormous stove in Merlin's kitchen.

The kitchen of Merlin's house was large, much larger than the outside of the house allowed for. It was popularly believed that Merlin had enchanted the house so that he could add any necessary extra rooms he wanted without having it take up space on the outside. It was a good thing, too, since there would have been no room for Merlin's many houseguests otherwise.

The room itself had the same comfortable, cluttered look and feel that the rest of the house did. Copper pots hung from a rack on the ceiling and dinged against each other like a culinary wind chime whenever there was a breeze. The smell of just-baked goods always wafted in the air. There was always a bowl of fresh fruit on the table and a large jar of chewy, piping-hot cookies in one corner. A battered old enchanted tea set had taken up residence on the counter beside the stove and was ferociously guarded by its militant sugar bowl.

When Aerith didn't respond, Tifa waved a hand in front of her face.

"Aerith? Hello?"

The brunette jumped and blinked at Tifa's palm.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Tifa! I was kind of spaced out!"

"No kidding." Tifa reached over and stirred the pot of noodles. "What's on your mind? You looked like you were worlds away."

Aerith blushed a bit across the bridge of her nose. "I was… in a way. I was thinking about Traverse Town."

"Traverse Town?" The surprise that Tifa felt was evident in her voice and raised brows. "That certainly is different."

"I know. I was just wondering if it's still there." Aerith turned and began to dice tomatoes for the sauce. "If it's a world where all the refugees of all the other worlds go, then what if it disappeared because all the worlds were put back together again? Isn't that what should have happened after Sora beat back the darkness?"

"Hm." The bartender mused. "…I guess so. I hadn't even thought about Traverse Town since we finally made it back here. Maybe we should ask Sora to go check and see if it's still there next time he comes by." Tifa paused there and slid her gaze over to fix on Aerith. "…But that's not really what you were thinkin' about, was it?"

"No, it wasn't." Aerith continued to dice the tomatoes and refused to look at Tifa.

"You were really thinking about something else entirely, weren't you?"

"Yes."

"It was something filthy, right?"

"…I wouldn't exactly say _filthy_…"

"Was I close enough?"

"…Yes."

"Was it Cloud 'leaving a trail of delicate, but heated kisses down the smooth skin of Leon's throat?'" Tifa grinned evilly at her best friend and was triumphant when Aerith's blush spread to her cheeks and ears.

"Not so loud!" Aerith pleaded with Tifa, glancing around to make sure nobody was in earshot.

"You are such a fangirl." Tifa teased her, amused to no end by Aerith's reaction.

"So are you!" Aerith said.

"Mmhmm. But I don't blush whenever anyone says something about it. Then again," Tifa smirked. "I also don't ask Tron to post my writing up on _questionable_ sites."

"Are we talking about Aerith's porn again?" Yuffie strolled into the kitchen at that moment, causing Aerith to look pained.

"I do not write porn," she said.

"Close enough. You're lucky that the guys think it's just mushy poetry and never try to read it." The ninja stood still on one side of the kitchen, eying the cookie jar. Only one thing stood between her and her prize. Her opponent was a small, round, blue piece of crockery with the reflexes and steely demeanor of a true warrior. Yuffie and the sugar bowl locked eyes and the sugar bowl slowly drew its spoon. It was on.

"Oh no, here we go again." Tifa backed away. "I'm not getting in the middle of you and that sugar bowl again. I still have spoon imprints on my skull from _last_ time."

"Good, don't get involved. This will be a fight to the _death_." Yuffie drew her shuriken. The sugar bowl readied its spoon.

"Fight to the death my foot." Aerith grabbed Yuffie by the headband and yanked her away from the sugar bowl. "First of all, young lady, Merlin said that there are to be no more bouts of mortal combat in the house. Second of all, you're still on probation and you're supposed to be helping with dinner."

Once the whiplash wore off, Yuffie turned and glared spectacularly at Aerith.

"Hey! This is between me and that bowl!"

"Yuffie, just go and set the damn table." Tifa placed a bunch of utensils in the ninja's hands and shoved her out of the kitchen. "And no using them as projectiles!"

The two young women could hear Yuffie's complaint of "Aw maaaaaaaan…" as she walked into the main room. Tifa laughed now that Yuffie was out of earshot.

"Only Yuffie would get into a blood-feud with a sugar bowl, I swear…" She paused and looked around the kitchen. "Everything looks like its pretty close to bein' ready, so I'm gonna go ask the Gullwings to get the men. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Sure! Go ahead." Aerith said. Tifa exited the room to find the fairies and Aerith let out a sigh of relief. She was just glad they were no longer talking about her porn.

* * *

"C'mon, I think they went this way!" Rikku raced through the narrow streets of Hollow Bastion so fast that her wings were a red-orange blur. Out of the three Gullwings, she was always the most cheerful and energetic, rather like a firefly hopped up on sugar.

"Why do you think that?" Yuna called ahead to Rikku.

"I dunno! I just do!" Rikku shouted back.

"Typical Rikku," muttered Paine.

Despite the fact that Rikku's customary method of navigation involved a lot of "Oooh this way looks fun! We should go this way!" and "Wait! Something's telling me that we should go over _here_!" it had proven to be surprisingly successful. Yuna and Paine generally put up with it as long as they eventually found what they were looking for. Since what they were looking for was generally treasure and Rikku had a nose for "shinies" as she called them, it worked more often than not.

Rikku led them away from Merlin's house and up to the bailey. Her instincts were proven correct when they began to hear voices.

"Yay, we found them!" Rikku burst out onto the bailey with a huge grin. "Hey Cloud 'n' Leon, we found – Huh?"

Yuna and Paine joined Rikku on the bailey, staring with mixed confusion and shock at the two men they'd been sent to fetch.

Cloud was in back, Leon in front. Limbs were entangled. There was… thrusting. And noises. Strange noises.

"Come on, already!" Cloud growled at Leon, who could only respond with a strangled response. Their bodies jerked. Neither of them had noticed the Gullwings.

"What the _hell_ is going on here?" Paine was the first to break out of the spell.

At the sound of her voice, Cloud and Leon looked up. Cloud looked annoyed while Leon's expression was a combination of horror and extreme discomfort. He also looked a little blue around the edges.

"What does it look like? This idiot here choked on something and I was trying to give him the Heimlich, but he keeps trying to push me away. It's not my fault if he dies." Cloud gestured to Leon with obvious exasperation.

"…That's not what it looked like." Paine said.

Leon opened his mouth to protest, but he could only choke and cough, trying desperately to suck air into his lungs.

"Well, that's what it was." Cloud told Paine. "He's too damn stubborn."

"What happened?" Rikku asked curiously.

"I have no idea. I said something about how I should do a striptease as a joke for Tifa during the strip-poker game we've got planned and he just started choking." Cloud shrugged.

"…Should you hit him on the back or something? He looks like he's about to fall over." Yuna pointed out.

"…Oh yeah." Cloud looked back over at Leon. At this point, Leon was a little blue around the mouth from lack of air and really was about to collapse. Cloud slapped on the back with such force that Leon stumbled forward and braced himself against the bailey wall. He gasped for air for a few moments, cleared his throat and then turned and glared over his shoulder at Cloud.

"Thanks for nothing!"

Cloud shrugged again. "Not my fault. If you'd just repress your gag reflex, you wouldn't have that problem. Is dinner ready? I'm starved."

_To be Continued…_


	5. Sephiroth Omake Chapter 1

**Life in the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee**

**Author**: Xanthos Samurai

Rating: PG-13

**Warnings**: Language, silliness, making dumb Final Fantasy jokes and probably embarrassing the hell out of Sephiroth. This chapter is sadly yaoi-free!

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, I'd have finished Jiminy's journal a lot quicker. And beaten Sephiroth on the first try.

**Feedback**: Reviewing fanfiction keeps Meteor from crashing into the planet!

**Notes**: Now for something completely different! This chapter is the first of a little mini-series I'm planning on doing within the fic called "Sephiroth Omake Chapters" where I take a break from the rest of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee and show the goings-on of another citizen of Hollow Bastion. This chapter is a side-story and does not have anything to do with the main plot of this fic… yet. However, for now this is just an excuse for me to be even sillier than normal. As I see it, Sephiroth should get just as much attention as all the other characters, so here we have a little short chapter about what he does while everyone else is trying to fix Hollow Bastion.

Just in case anyone doesn't know, "omake" is the Japanese word meaning "extra." So just think of it as a little bonus chapter and enjoy!

* * *

**Sephiroth Omake Chapter 1**

If Sephiroth had been told to make a list of adjectives to describe himself, he would have picked words such as "majestic," "ethereal," "godlike" or "inexorable." He definitely would _not_ have used "bored out of his fucking skull." For one thing, it wasn't an adjective at all – it was a statement. For another, the One-Winged Angel Sephiroth simply didn't use statements such as "bored out of his fucking skull." It just wasn't _dignified_. What would Mother think of that sort of language?

In any case, whether Mother would have approved or not, "bored out of his fucking skull" was a particularly accurate phrase to use when describing Sephiroth. Though he had been created to excel mentally and physically and, for all intents and purposes, be the supreme being of pretty much everything, all the training, conditioning and preparation had not taught him what to do when there was nothing for him to do but wait. And wait. And wait. _And wait_.

Sephiroth hadn't even known what boredom _was_ until he had experienced it first hand. At first, he hadn't understood what was happening to him. He'd done everything as Mother had taught him. Descended in a mysterious and intimidating manner? Check. Delivered his cryptic message to Sora? Check. Ascended majestically and vanished into the ether, leaving them astounded by his god-like power? Double check. Now all he had left to do was sit back and wait for Sora to pass the message along to Cloud and then wait for Cloud to come charging through the Crystal Fissure to the Dark Depths and initiate the battle that would herald the Beginning of the End, the apocalypse for which he, Sephiroth, the harbinger, was created.

…But somewhere along the line, something had gone wrong. The ball had been irrevocably dropped. But what was the problem here? Sephiroth had done his part, so clearly the blame rested somewhere else. When Cloud failed to appear after a few days and then a week, Sephiroth finally got up and left the Dark Depths to find out what the hell was going on.

High above the town of Hollow Bastion, Sephiroth perched upon a dormant smokestack and looked down. It was a… quaint place, he supposed. The reconstructed buildings and signs of new economic growth that stood alongside crumbling architecture and an ambience of rich history made for an interesting juxtaposition. In all honesty, Sephiroth didn't give two Munny about such things. He was here because he had a specific mission. A mission that was being messed up because _someone_ wasn't doing what they were supposed to.

In any case, his eyes scanned the square and the strange, ramshackle buildings that lined it. There was the house that belonged to that sorcerer, the one that all of them stayed with. Perhaps if he watched that, he would catch sight of Sora or even Cloud.

Sephiroth waited. And waited. And waited and waited and waited. During the wait, he saw Cid and Yuffie and Merlin and Tifa and Aerith and none other than the elusive Leon, but no Cloud. Not even one single blonde spike. Annoyed and trying to ignore the cramp in his calf that came from standing majestically upon a smokestack over the city for too long, he began to fly back to the Dark Depths.

"Damn it all to the Underworld. He's probably avoiding me," muttered Sephiroth moodily as he lighted on the cliff's edge. "I suppose I should go and _find_ him so that we can carry out this battle properly. But wait. I've already given the message to Sora and he may have already passed it along to Cloud. If I go and _look_ for him, it will seem like I'm desperate." He rattled off this train of thought, apparently not realizing how much like he sounded like a lovesick teenage girl.

Grudgingly, Sephiroth decided that it would be more prudent to wait for Sora to approach him first. After all, there was a proper way of going about this and it was not for him to go and initiate the fight. He knew that Sora would come to fight him first because it was just in the boy's nature – he'd want to take on a challenge himself before getting his friends involved. It was a noble sentiment, Sephiroth thought, but it was going to get Sora dismembered one of these days.

And so began yet another long, tedious period of waiting. The temptation to go and find Cloud himself was too strong if he ventured out of the Dark Depths, so Sephiroth steadfastly remained in that one area. For two weeks, he was able to keep himself occupied with training and meditation and other such soldierly pursuits. Fortunately, he had been instructed in these activities for just this purpose. After all, war could sometimes be filled with long periods of idleness and it was important to keep the mind and body sharp through such times.

On the third week, however, Sephiroth felt the boredom begin to get to him.

"I wonder if it's possible to utilize these things in some sort of offensive capability," he mused as he strung together yards upon yards of daisy chains. He was already wearing a wreath of them on his head and several Shadows were also similarly bedecked. The Shadows usually milled about in places such as the Great Maul, but since Sephiroth had taken up residence in the Dark Depths, he had noticed a strange influx of the creatures. They seemed to _flock_ to him. And then once they reached him, they were content to just hang around. Much to his chagrin, Sephiroth began to speak to them.

"I could theoretically make some sort of net or capturing apparatus… Stop that!" He snapped at one Heartless who had a history of particularly clumsy behavior. It seemed to be entranced by his wings and always got as close as it could to stare at them. Invariably, it would trip it over itself and crash into him in a tangle of feathers and antennae. It backed away quickly and fell back, looking sheepishly up at Sephiroth. He gazed down at it with one cold eye and gestured to his daisy chain. "It should be obvious that I am in the middle of something important, so don't disturb me. Is that understood?"

The shadow backed off and tried to remember not to be seen by the grouchy man when he was trying to look at the pretty pretty wings.

By the fourth week, Sephiroth had actually acquired the ability to differentiate between the different Shadows. And as if that weren't enough, he had even given them names. He didn't name _all_ of them of course, but a few with distinct personalities merited names. The infinitely clumsy one who seemed to be underfoot at every turn was dubbed "Knights of the Round," but was most often referred to as just "Knights." There was another Shadow that had proven to be quite friendly and attached to Sephiroth and had taken to following him quietly at every opportunity. Sephiroth called this one Bahamut. There were countless others, dozens of them who seemed to be eager to please him. Sephiroth eventually considered them to be his own personal task force.

"Form ranks!" He would shout at random to the mob of Shadows. All of them would perk up their antennae and rush, fumbling over one another to get into the formation that Sephiroth had drilled into their heads. They would stand in rows that were by no means the neat, precise columns that he had attempted to teach them and try to stand as still as they could. However, it was extremely difficult for the Shadows to remain motionless for any real amount of time and so their heads still bobbed and their bodies swayed and they stared up at Sephiroth with hopeful yellow eyes, hoping to hear a curt "Acceptable" or even "Good Heartless" if they did a good job.

Walking briskly up and down the ranks of assembled Heartless, Sephiroth would eye them all critically and occasionally bark out orders at various "troops."

"Shiva – keep your head up! Ifrit – straighten your back, solider! Quezacotl and Odin – You're too close! Move apart! Cerberus – stop chewing on Valefor's antennae! Bahamut – good form! _Knights_!" Sephiroth would watch with exasperation as Knights, startled by the sudden attention, would flail and send the other Shadows around him tumbling over themselves and each other like dominoes. "Knights, just try to keep your inferiority from spreading to the other troops. And don't _touch_ anything."

He would eye them all for another minute or so and then bark "As you were!" As the Shadows dispersed, Sephiroth would return to his daisy chains.

On the fifth week without so much as a single sign of Sora or Cloud or any other opponent, Sephiroth had run out of daisies to plait and Heartless to name and turned to knitting. Countless Shadows ran around the Dark Depths bedecked in colorful hats, scarves and the occasional sweater. Sometimes they would have lace patterns, sometimes stripes, sometimes cables and sometimes even pom-poms. However, all of them were beautifully made.

Sephiroth sat in the middle of the mob of fashionable Heartless, calmly knitting for hours on end. Bahamut sat nearby, feeding Sephiroth yarn from a skein, clearly just happy to help. Knights was most often tearing around the Dark Depths, getting hopelessly tangled in the extra-long scarf that Sephiroth had made specifically for him. It hadn't been a gesture of affection – Sephiroth hoped that Knights would eventually become so entangled that he would be rendered immobile and therefore, unable to crash into him. Last time, he'd caused Sephiroth to lose ten whole rows of stitches.

The sixth week consisted entirely of throwing rocks at the castle that those insignificant little humans were trying so desperately to rebuild. The structure itself was worth ten points, a window was fifty and causing vital parts of the architecture to collapse was five hundred. Humans would have been worth a thousand, if he'd ever seen them actually working on the castle. Bahamut would pick a rock from the large pile that Sephiroth had ordered the Shadows to gather and watch closely as Sephiroth would wind up, imitating him closely. He would let the rock fly at the same time as his master and then watch with a pleased expression as it plummeted to the bottom of the precipice while Sephiroth's soared through the air for miles and then crashed into a window. Knights would also try and end up hitting himself in the head.

The seventh week broke the monotony at last. Sephiroth, with his superior instincts, could sense that someone was approaching from miles away. He could taste it on the incoming wind, sense the aura of the newcomer before there were any other signs at all.

"Troops!" He whirled on his heel and barked at the Heartless. "The enemy approaches! Reassemble at the Great Maul and remain there until he leaves again! And dispose of those clothes!"

With the slightest bit of reluctance, the assembled Heartless shucked off the colorful hats and scarves and mittens and sweaters and socks that their beloved master had made for them. It was such a pity to throw away something so pretty… But after a moment of confused milling around, they wandered over to the cliffs and threw all their knitted things over the edge. Bahamut lingered for a moment, turning in his hands the soft black hat that Master had made for him. It even had holes for his antennae! But an order was an order and so he had no choice. It wouldn't do to be sad – perhaps Master would make him another one.

"_Knights_! You're not going out there in that!"

At the sound of Sephiroth's commanding voice, Bahamut turned around. Knights of the Round was stumbling along behind the rest of the Shadow mob, hopelessly tangled in his scarf. He'd tried to get away without throwing it over the cliff like the rest of them, but the all-seeing Sephiroth had caught him. Bahamut raced back and gently led Knights back to the cliff's edge and cajoled him into relinquishing his scarf. With great reluctance, Knights eventually gave in and released it from his claws. The two Heartless stood silently for a moment, watching the rainbow scarf flutter on the breeze like a cheerful banner as it fell into the abyss. Bahamut then grabbed Knights' hand and ran out of the Dark Depths with the rest of their Heartless brethren. As they retreated, Sephiroth resumed his customary position of standing majestically at the edge of the Dark Depths, looking as intimidating as possible.

When Sora, Donald and Goofy wandered into the Dark Depths, their eyes met a great expanse. The land emptied into a vast nothingness that stretched all the way out to the horizon. And there, in the center of this waste, stood Sephiroth. Tall. Powerful. Regal. Absolutely terrifying.

"Wow, it looks like he's been waiting for us." Sora whispered to his companions.

"No kidding," answered Donald. He fingered his staff nervously.

"Gawrsh, Sora…" Goofy peered at Sephiroth. "You sure we're ready for this? He looks awful strong."

"Yeah…. I think you might be right, Goofy. Let's come back when we're stronger. I don't think he's noticed us yet." Sora took a few backwards steps towards the entrance.

"Sounds good to me!" Donald turned tail and bolted with Sora and Goofy following on his webbed heels.

Sephiroth remained standing on the edge of the Dark Depths. His posture remained perfectly still and erect, his hair blowing gently in the wind. His hands remained motionless at his sides. His left eye twitched uncontrollably.

That was it? That was _it_?! Sephiroth wanted to rip his hair out. All those weeks of waiting and that was _it_?!

As the Heartless slowly filtered back into the Dark Depths, they found their master sitting on the edge of the cliffs with his head in his hands. The majority of them hung back, sniffing tentatively at him. Master didn't seem very happy, that's for sure. Only two of the Shadows dared to creep just a bit closer – Bahamut and Knights of the Round. The two of them ventured towards Sephiroth cautiously. Bahamut was trying to decide how best to approach Sephiroth without potentially incurring his wrath. However, Knights solved the dilemma by tripping on his own feet and crashing headlong into Sephiroth's lower back.

"Dammit, Knights!"

In less than a second, Sephiroth had surged to his feet and seized Knights by his antennae. He now stood on the edge of the cliff, a looming pillar of rage, glaring deeply at one terrified little Heartless. Knights stared back up at him and tried to curl into a ball in mid-air. If he'd possessed a tail, it would have been tucked between his legs. At Sephiroth's feet, Bahamut tugged at his boot gently, attempting to supplicate Master before things got too out-of-hand.

Sephiroth, however, was having none of it.

"Knights," he growled. "I'm not having a good day. I'm in no mood for your idiocy. Is this understood?"

Knights stared with his large, empty yellow eyes up at Sephiroth's face. "Pleaaaaaaaaase don't eat me, big scary man with pretty wings," his expression said.

This seemed to be the last straw for Sephiroth, who calmly turned to face the precipice and began to swing Knights in a circle over his head. He let go suddenly, sending the Shadow flying through the air in a smooth arc. The other Heartless all watched, their heads moving in unison to follow Knights' path through the air. Knights collided with a spectacular crash on the castle. His landing place had been on a certain brunette who, coincidentally, had quite enough problems without Heartless literally falling out of the sky and landing on his head.

"Thousand points." Sephiroth turned and walked to the other side of the Dark Depths, where he kept his knitting things well hidden behind a rock. Even pitching Knights at Leon's head hadn't cheered him up. It was time for some serious knitting therapy.

To Be Continued….

* * *

P.S. Don't worry about Knights! He'll be back! 


	6. An Unexpectedly Sexy Dinner

**A Day in the Life of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee**

**Author**: Xanthos Samurai

**Rating**: PG-13

**Warnings**: Slash, yaoi – all that jazz. There is also a healthy dose of awkward situations, cursin' and eventual spoilers for all three Kingdom Hearts games.

**Disclaimer**: I own as much Kingdom Hearts as much as I own the moon. Funny how they're related.

**Feedback**: Is always extremely appreciated.

**Notes**: Once again, this chapter took inexcusably long to get out. I'm going to stop making promises I can't keep. Sorry, guys! Next chapter is going to be WAY better than this one, but I wanted to get SOMETHING out. The reason this took so long was that I got caught up in writing squick for a Kingdom Hearts squick contest. If you like blood and violence and gore and that sort of thing, head to my LJ. Enjoy the chapter, folks!

* * *

Whenever Sora, Donald and Goofy stayed for dinner at Hollow Bastion, they were always strongly reminded of meals in the Pride Lands, except with one big difference – Pride Land meals were markedly more civilized. Death threats, slander, culinary mortal combat, brandishing of weapons were all commonplace and someone's food invariably got ruined by a stray Fire, Blizzard or Thunder spell.

The way it was supposed to work was that they all took turns cooking, but the job usually ended up going to the people who enjoyed it. Namely, Aerith and Leon. Aerith had been cooking for years and enjoyed it immensely. Subsequently, she was also very good at it. Leon, however, had gotten a late start in the cooking game and hadn't discovered the joy of the culinary arts until Radiant Garden had been destroyed. He found that cooking had a strange relaxing effect on him and had gotten into the habit of watching Aerith in the kitchen as she cooked. Eventually, he actually began to imitate her and started making things on his own. Aerith was generally very patient and only helped him when he specifically asked her to.

Those two were the only real culinary types of the Committee. Cloud was all thumbs in the kitchen despite his handiness in other areas. Tifa wasn't a bad cook, but as she claimed, she was more into serving alcohol than food. Cid could cook, but his expertise was limited to "bachelor chow." None of them even wanted to think about Yuffie attempting to cook, despite her claims that she was great at it.

Today it was Tifa and Aerith's turn, so they had prepared spaghetti, which was simple and could easily be made to feed nine people. They figured that the three fairies altogether would probably only eat one full-sized portion, but they made three extras just in case. You never knew how much anyone was going to eat, really. Both Leon and Yuffie were rail thin and they each ate roughly half their body weight each day.

Tifa and Aerith were just placing the dishes full of steaming food on the table when the Gullwings burst through the door with Cloud and Leon in tow.

"Hey! We found 'em!" Rikku announced loudly. She was absolutely gleeful. "And guess what it looked like they were doi – Mmmng!"

"That's enough."

Leon had snatched Rikku out of the air and now held her firmly against the fur ruff of his coat, presumably to muffle her.

Both Tifa's and Aerith's eyes met Leon's carefully expressionless face, then flicked over to see Cloud's slightly evil grin and then flicked back to Leon with identical expressions of "Oh, you are _so_ explaining."

"Hey girls, would you do me another favor and go tell Yuffie and Cid that dinner's ready?" Tifa looked over at the Gullwings.

Paine folded her arms across her chest.

"We are _not_ your personal messenger service."

"We know that, but this way you can check out where you want to sleep," Aerith pointed out.

"Mmph!" Rikku wriggled out of Leon's grip. "That sounds like a great idea!"

"Okay then let's go!" Yuna zipped off with the others in tow.

Once the "kids" were out of the room, the two young women pounced upon Leon as though he were a wounded deer and they were hungry lionesses.

"So _what_ happened?"

"Nothing."

Leon collapsed into the chair beside Tron's computer terminal. Much to his annoyance, Leon could feel the back of his neck burning red. As Cloud had thoroughly established earlier in the evening, he was a wretched liar.

"Aw c'mon, Leon. It wasn't _that_ bad." Cloud grinned at him as he hung up his scarf. "I did save your life, after all."

"Are you serious?! What happened?" Curiosity and concern instantly came across Tifa and Aerith's faces, although it must be said that there was significantly more curiosity than concern.

"_Nothing_ happened," repeated Leon.

"User Leon, are you all right?" Tron's cheerful, concerned voice issued from the terminal. "My sensors indicate that your body temperature has elevated several degrees."

Leon banged a fist on the terminal. "I'm fine, dammit! It's Cloud's fault anyways!"

There was a moment of silence in which Leon scowled resolutely at the floor. Why did it seem as though everyone was always out to humiliate him? All the sudden there was giggling.

"So… Cloud elevated you. Is that right, Leon?"

It was just a simple question. That's all. But that's all it took for Leon to feel himself catch on fire from the inside out from embarrassment. His ears, his cheeks and the back of his neck all began to burn as Tifa, Aerith and even Cloud began to snigger evilly.

Leon resolutely gritted his teeth, determined not to let them get a rise out of him.

_However, if I were to get a rise out of Cloud…_

No! Aigh! Bad thoughts! **Bad thoughts**! More than ever, Leon wanted to go drown himself in Rising Falls or hang himself from the tallest tower of the castle or… or… Fuck! Anything but just sit there.

"If you're done, I'm going to check my mail." Leon's voice was as unruffled and cold as he could possibly make it. With as much dignity as he could muster, he turned to the computer and began to clack on random keys, hoping that he looked like he was doing something important.

"User Leon, you have received no new messages since you last checked three hours, forty six minutes and thirty seconds ago!" Tron practically chirped, pleased that he could help Leon in any way possible.

Leon, however, could feel his eye begin to twitch. He hoped that it wasn't as obvious to everyone else as it felt to him.

He was saved from further embarrassment at that moment by the Gullwings returning with Cid and Yuffie in tow. The two of them had apparently reached some sort of mutual understanding as they were able to walk down the stairs together without mortally wounding each other. Granted, Yuffie still kept her distance from Cid. It was probably a good idea considering that Cid was probably still more than a little angry.

"'bout time something went as planned around here." Cid grouched as he sat heavily down in his chair. He picked up a knife and fork in each fist. "With all the crazyness that's been goin' on, I'm surprised dinner's here on time."

"Oh hush." Aerith thwapped him on the head as she placed the food on the table. Everyone else took their chairs. "We've had hard times before, but we've always had _food_. Don't be so melodramatic."

Bowls and plates were passed around the table as the eight hungry members of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee served themselves heaping platefuls of spaghetti, meatballs, bread and salad. The meal was going well so far. Abnormally well, even. In fact, you could almost have said that it was going _normally_.

That is, until there was a heavy knocking at the door.

Yuffie, who had been half out of her chair, reaching for the spaghetti, was so startled that she jumped, knocking the bowl into Cid's lap. Having steaming hot noodles poured onto his crotch didn't do much for Cid's already cranky disposition. The pilot yowled and sent a glass flying in turn. Ice-cold water spilled across the table and dripped off the edges, effectively soaking everyone.

"God _dammit_, Yuffie!" Cid bellowed.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Yuffie squeaked.

"For crying out loud… We should just call this the Hollow Bastion _Dysfunctional_ Committee…" Tifa began to mop up the water. "Door's open!" She yelled.

The door swung open slowly. Everyone's eyes were instantly fixed on the figure in the doorway.

He was tall with a proud, erect posture. Billowing black robes couldn't conceal a warrior's physique or the great sword strapped to his back. His hair was coarse and grizzled with grey. One sharp eye glinted from over the rims of a pair of dark glasses.

"Auron?" Cloud spoke first, staring with obvious shock at the man at the door. If a pair of wings had suddenly sprung from his ass, he would not have been more surprised.

"Sir Auron!" The Gullwings shrieked in unison and launched themselves as one at the man in black. Cloud rose from the table and walked over to where Auron was currently getting mobbed by the fairies. He still looked like he was in shock.

"Auron, what are you doing here? Er, I mean…" Cloud stopped upon realizing his rudeness, but Auron merely raised a brow.

"It would be easiest if I explained all at once. And you can introduce me to your friends." He nodded towards the confused (and still wet or noodly, in Cid's case) people at the table. "That is, if these girls don't mind letting me go for a minute. Girls?"

"Oh! Certainly, Sir Auron!" Yuna drew back. A worried expression clouded her face. "We're just anxious because… Well, you were…."

"I know. I'll explain in just a moment."

The rest of them watched as Auron, Cloud and the Gullwings returned to the table. Everyone was so transfixed by the new arrival that nobody noticed blood trickle out of Cid's nose until he scrambled for a napkin. Aerith had already gotten an extra chair and put it at the table for their guest. As Cloud slipped back into his chair, Tifa leaned in to whisper to him.

"How do you know this guy? An old friend of yours?"

"Something like that. I don't know what he's doing here…"

"Sorry for interrupting your dinner. It looks delicious." Auron began graciously.

"Oh! I'm a bad hostess – would you like some? We have plenty." Aerith reached for the pot, but Auron shook his head.

"Thanks, but no. Being dead kind of takes away the need to eat. I appreciate the thought."

There was a long moment of silence at the table, but it wasn't the respectful moment of silence usually associated with the dead. It was the long, awkward silence of a bunch of people trying to figure out how to react to a zombie sitting at their kitchen table.

"Wow! Hey what's it like being a zombie?! Do you eat brains?!" Yuffie, never one for tact, immediately barraged him with questions. She practically leapt over the table to stare at him.

"Yuffie, where the HELL are your manners?" Tifa seized Yuffie by the headband and shoved her down into her chair. "I'm really sorry, mister. She's uh… kind of… well, she's the village idiot."

"Hey! I am _not_ the village idiot!" The ninja rounded on Tifa with a mightily indignant expression.

"It's quite all right. My story is… something of an odd one." Auron looked around the table. "My name is Auron. Your friend Cloud and I were both in the Underworld as prisoners of Hades. That's where we met."

"Cloud never mentioned you…" Tifa admitted. "But he doesn't really talk about anything from back then."

"That's fine. I don't blame him at all. Hades made it… unpleasant." Auron's rough voice could speak surprisingly delicately.

"Sir Auron!" Yuna cut in suddenly. "Why aren't you telling them about yourself before you went to the Underworld?! You were a hero of our world! You died def-"

"That's enough, Yuna." Auron said gently. "That was another life ago. Let's let the past stay in the past."

Yuna quieted and a new respect for this man in black filled the room.

Tifa cleared her throat. "So… why are you here now? Not that we're not delighted to have you, but most of the visitors we get around here are Heartless."

Auron smiled a bit. "I understand. When we were in the Underworld together, Cloud used to tell me all about all of you. It was a good way to pass the time."

"He did?" Tifa grinned over at Cloud, who tried to duck and hide the blush that was beginning to creep up his neck to his face. Leon found himself amused, even pleased by Cloud's obvious discomfort. It was nice not to be the one blushing for a change.

"I think I could even guess who all of you are." Auron looked around the table.

"Oh! That's so cool! What did he say about all of us? Cloud doesn't _ever_ talk about_ anything_!" Yuffie was practically jumping out of her seat with curiosity. "I mean, I guess he talks, but whenever he does it's usually to make fun of Leon and –"

"Yuffie."

The ninja looked down and found that Cid's fingers were digging into her arm and that there was a crazed look in his weathered eyes.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up."

It wasn't often that Yuffie was actually _afraid_ of the older man, but she certainly was now.

"Yes sir." She sat down quietly and folded her hands in her lap, staring straight ahead.

"Don't mind her." Cid looked over at Auron. Was that a _blush_ creeping up the pilot's cheeks? No, it couldn't be… "Continue, if you like."

Auron looked at Cid for a moment.

"Obviously, you're Cid and that's Yuffie," he pointed to each of them in turn. "And Tifa and Aerith." The two girls smiled and nodded as Auron named them correctly as well. Finally, the man in black turned to the only committee member who hadn't been named yet. "You must be Squall. He talked about you a lot."

"My name's actually Leon now," said Leon. "And he did?"

"Mmhmm. Quite a bit."

"So what brings you here, Auron?" Cloud interjected, clearly not worried about how obviously he was trying to steer the conversation away from that particular topic. "I mean… you're still dead, right? I thought you couldn't leave the Underworld."

"Ah, that." Auron leaned back in his chair and smiled. "You noticed how I look a little different now, didn't you?"

Cloud nodded. Auron did seem a little more solid this time around. And of course the black robes were a big change from his customary red.

Auron smiled a bit, clearly pleased about the next piece of information that he was about to divulge.

"Well, since your friend Sora made sure that Hades was out of the picture, I've been made the Lord of the Underworld."

The announcement clearly had the intended affect on the members of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee – drinks were spewed, food flew and loud exclamations of surprise rang all through the house. When the dust, spaghetti and noise cleared, all of them were staring at Auron with varying degrees of shock and respect.

"How did that happen?" Cloud asked.

"Hercules' father is Zeus, who happens to be the king of Olympus, including the Underworld. He just let Hades run it to keep him out of trouble. When the opening came up, Zeus said he would restore my humanity in exchange for taking the job. Naturally, I accepted."

"So you can, like, one-hit KO things? You're _death_, right?" Yuffie's eyes were so wide that they looked in danger of popping out of her head.

"Well, in a sense. I _can_ do that, but it's the responsibility of death not to abuse that power and to make sure that lives end when they should." Auron paused. "That being said, yes I can 'one-hit KO things.'"

"Can you kill Heartless?" Leon was actually giving serious thought to the useful aspects of Auron's new abilities. If he could kill the Heartless and Nobodies, it would certainly save them a whole lot of trouble."

"Unfortunately no. Heartless are not technically alive, so I cannot kill them. Or Nobodies, for that matter."

Leon tried to hide his disappointment. Of course not. That would have made life _easier_ and that simply wasn't allowed.

"Anyways, I didn't mean to intrude on your dinner." Auron stood again. "I just wanted to drop in and say hello to Cloud and meet all of you. I'll let you get back to your meal."

"No, you didn't interrupt anything!" Cloud looked over at him. "You should stay. We have lots of food and plenty of room." That last part was a lie – with every new recruit, member and freeloader, the Committee was rapidly running out of space. Oh well, Tifa was going to move into her bar any day and he and Leon could just live in the Bastion. All alone. With no interruptions. Hee hee hee.

"I wouldn't want to impose." Auron was watching Cloud, wondering why his one-time protégé's face looked so… devious.

"Not at all. We'll just kick Yuffie out." Cid was gripping his napkin just a bit too tightly. It would be _rude_ to let Auron leave now, after all. He had to extend their hospitality and convince Auron to stay.

Half of Cid's brain wanted to throw himself off Rising Falls again, but the other half protested. Cid had been struck by something about Auron from the first moment he had laid eyes on the other man. Maybe it was Auron's air of dignity or maybe it was the fact that he was also weathered and experienced. Shit, maybe it was just the sexy grey in his hair and the fuck-me rumble in his voice – Cid had no idea. But what he _did_ know was that he was trying hard not to make an idiot of himself like Leon did when Cloud was in the room.

_Fuck, don't tell me I've turned into Leon_.

"Besides, we're playing strip-poker after dinner. You have to stay for that, even if you don't play." Yuffie was saying.

"Strip-poker, hm?" Auron took his seat again. "Well, I certainly can't leave before that. It's been years since I played strip-poker."

Nobody but Yuffie saw Cid duck under the table, blood dripping from his nose. She made a mental note to hassle him to within an inch of his life about it later. Much later. When she wasn't afraid of him killing her to begin with.

"So… you're going to play strip-poker with us?" Tifa looked at him inquisitively. Oh this could be too good to be true.

"Sure, why not?"

Every person at that table suddenly had the exact same thought: that this was going to be the best game of strip-poker _ever_.

_To Be Continued…_


End file.
